Truly, there are few things more contradictory in the nature of entertainment they provide than red carpets: they are a mix of everpresent disgusting opulence that just makes you laugh, the most dreary beauty and fashion mistakes, and the most cringeworthy interactions and interviews.
Regardless, they are always insanely fun to watch for multiple reasons – varying anywhere from “awe-ispiringly gorgeous dresses” to “looks so dreary it makes us want to cry” and “conversations so forced it gives us secondhand embarrassment”. From the dreary looks and fashion mistakes, however, we – the simple onlookers – can learn a thing or two.
So here are things we should probably note down:
Don’t try TOO hard
The general consensus with fashion has been, for many years and god knows what reason exactly, that more is better.
It is possible to interpret this sentiment in a way that’s understandable – most fashion brands are going for the busy, often kitsch looks (e.g. Balenciaga, Balmain, Dolce & Gabbana, Alexander McQueen, etcetera – all these brands just love when there is too much going on), and when they don’t they get compared to H&M or else.
Still, this particular look of Cardi B’s that she pulled out on the Grammys this year has been a decent example of why, sometimes, less is more. I’ve been calling it names ever since I’d first seen it, the names varying anywhere from “a loud oyster” to “a fancy vag*na”.
Don’t do that. It’s rarely flattering.
Still, know the occasion
I know, I know – some people are about to rip into me for counting YouTubers as celebrities, but can you argue against that? They’re famous – famous enough to get invited to events most of us will only see on TV/Twitter – so they deserve their places here, in my opinion.
Regardless, though, even if they are truly celebrities, that doesn’t mean they’re good at the whole red carpet business. Some of the most embarrassing fashion mistakes of the past two MET Galas have been committed by YouTubers, specifically James Charles and Lisa Koshy.
I know I just said not to try too hard, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try at all. Please, always check where you’re going before leaving your flat, because you might leave for a pre-drinks session at your uni mate’s apartment, but accidentally end up at the MET Gala if you don’t. And that’s kind of embarrassing.
You have a silhouette – don’t forget that
Sometimes, less is more, of course. But sometimes it’s quite the opposite.
We aren’t talking about dress decorations this particular time, though; we’re talking about dress models. Whatever your body type is, whatever your general style is, baggy and shapeless is rarely good.
That’s not to say nobody can make it work, but you have to make it work, so that the words that come to mind are not “baggy” and “shapeless” but “avant-garde”, “unique”, or anything else of the sort.
Regardless of how great your artistic talent and cinematic contributions, it’s a good idea to flatter yourself – and, somehow, both The Favourite stars forgot to do that at this year’s Golden Globes.
Straighten your back out
If you can.
This kinda complements the previous point – if your shoulders are too slumped forward it will make the outfit look bad, will make your figure look shapeless and unattractive, and will give you back problems.
Walking around with your back straight all the time is difficult and requires practice; but, once you get used to it, you will notice how much better everything looks when you do, and the fashion mistakes you make will be far less prominent.
Not even celebrities are safe from the misfortune of looking a mess when they’re not trying.