Once you become a Monash University student, you are part of this university’s large and diverse community. And nothing brings a community closer together than their shared struggles, some very specific to Monash! Here are 10 dilemmas all Monash students can attest to.
1. Bad exam timetables
Nearly every Monash University student will have experienced a bad exam timetable, and if you haven’t, well you are one of the lucky few! Whether it’s an evening exam in the final week, two exams on the same day or, the cream of the crop, an evening exam and a morning exam the next day, we’ve all been there and we all know the struggle.
2. The Menzies rotating doors
There’s nothing more Monash than the Menzies building and no struggle is greater than trying to get through those rotating doors. I mean, who designed these doors and why don’t they want us to enter the building? At least you can always get a good laugh when you see a jaffy’s first time getting stuck in the doors.
3. Train station retail
If you’re a Caulfield student and take the train to campus, you know all to well the struggle of dodging those persistent salespeople at the train station. It doesn’t matter what they’re selling, we don’t want it! My pro tip? Pretend you’re on the phone and quickly walk past with your eyes down. Do not make eye contact. That’s how they get you.
4. Student election time
It’s student election time and there are campaigners everywhere. They’re outside Menzies, they’re inside campus centre and they want your vote. Unless you’ve got one of those “I have voted” stickers on display, I wouldn’t be going anywhere near campus until the coast is clear.
5. The hike across Clayton campus
If you have ever had a back to back class at Clayton, then you know the struggle. You have lived and breathed the struggle. Actually, you found it difficult to breathe because of that cross country hike to your next class. I mean, the campus has its own street names! We’re basically a separate suburb!
6. Roasting Parkville
Poor Parkville, always getting roasted by the other Monash campuses. If you’re a Parkville student, then you know all too well the struggle of being dubbed the inferior campus.
7. Those Menzies stairs
Yes, there’s another Menzies one on the list of the struggles of a Monash University student because we’ve all felt the struggles of those stairs. It’s either wait a couple years for the lifts to reach ground level or face the wrath of walking up three flights of stairs. The worst part, of course, is reaching the top and having to pretend your heart rate has not increased by an alarming rate.
8. Construction all the time
Construction. Construction everywhere. It’s not like we need to study at university so please continue your drilling, beeping and all those other noises that are not at all distracting. I don’t know if Monash will ever be free from construction or if it has just become a part of our university’s aesthetic.
9. The 601 bus line
If you take the 601 bus line, then you know the struggle. For an express shuttle service, the line moves pretty darn slow! Might as well download a movie or two on your phone because you’re going to be waiting for a while.
Last, but certainly not least, is Okta, an authentication service that makes it more difficult to login into our devices and nearly impossible to set a new password. Thanks Monash! I’m yet to meet a student who likes it and I doubt I ever will. At least we can hide our pain with memes.