What It’s Like To Be Motherless On Mother’s Day

A Motherless Mother’s Day

We’ve all been forced, at least once, in our elementary school career, to make a ‘coupon book’ for our moms as a Mother’s Day gift. Free hugs, one “I’ll be quiet” card, maybe a few “I will pick up my toys with no questions asked” cards if you were feeling especially generous.

As you grew up, you probably started buying flowers or little gifts, maybe making homemade cards and picture frames. It was something that was expected of you, so year after year you did as was expected.

Right now, you’re probably grown up and have likely moved out of the house. Mother’s Day gifts have become phone calls and flower deliveries, and occasionally an in-person visit if you’re lucky. For about an hour or two on Mother’s Day, you’re expected to be generous to a woman who has dedicated her life to yours, and so you do as you’re told, making sure to follow the routine perfectly. After all, you’ve rehearsed it year after year.

Now I want you to picture a Mother’s Day without your mom. A lot simpler, right? No phone calls necessary, you get to save the flower money and your time. You can go back to your normal daily routine. Sounds ideal, right?

Wrong. I want you to imagine the day after Mother’s Day without your mom. Let’s say you get a stain on your shirt from the dinner you had the night before, or your allergies are flaring up and you don’t know what to do. Who do you call? Not your mom, remember you don’t have one of those.

Tough, right? According to activelymovingforward.org, anywhere between 35% and 48% of college students have lost a family member or close friend in the last two years. That’s roughly 4.5 million college students nationwide who have been impacted by grips of grief.

For some of those 4.5 million students, this Mother’s Day is going to be one they will never forget. Most people can’t recall what they did for their mom’s last Mother’s Day, I know I can’t. But I can perfectly recall the first Mother’s Day I experienced after my mother died.

I guess that’s the funny thing about grief- it forces you to appreciate the thing that’s already gone. But as someone who knows what this feels like, I strongly encourage you to savor every little moment you have with the ones you love. Trust me when I say you don’t want to feel remorse for not having appreciated the special moments you have together.

So this Mother’s Day, love your mom. Hug your mom. Call your mom. Send flowers and a note to your mom. Whatever you do, do it with love and do it with your whole heart, because one day you’ll wake up and you’ll regret not jumping at every opportunity to do just that.

 

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