College is just one big fat bag of awesome, is it not? Everything you could possibly dream of from the food, to the new friends, to the inhumane amounts of homework due within the next 24 hours, and of course, the dorm room inspection.
Like your friendly neighborhood Spider Man said “With great power comes the great opportunity to beat the “bejeezus” out of somebody.” Its all fun and games until the stress starts getting to you and yanking your chains of joy. The main stressor we will be covering is the good ole dorm room inspection!
Whether you’re a college amateur or senior veteran, you can’t forget that you’re only human. As a human, you tend to get messy and forget to clean up after yourself. This becomes twice the headache when you have a roommate who is just as messy as you are. Then, one day you come to your room after another long day of being a student to see that special little piece of paper and it immediately activates your OCD. Now, you only have a short amount of time to turn your Jumanji board of a room into a look-alike of something out of a Crate and Barrel catalog. That’s where we come in.
You need a shortcut and we got you covered. So stop hyperventilating, wipe your tears, count to ten and pay attention. Follow these instructions and tips to pass dorm room inspect with flying colors and you will be fine, scouts honor.
Step One: Don’t Panic
An anxiety attack is just another debt on your conscience and that area of your mind is probably already clustered by student loans. Dorm room inspection is not the time to be freaking out. It is the time to be planning for action. Collect yourself, take a deep breath, and affirm to yourself that you are going to be fine. As long as you don’t have anything illegal in your room, then the worst that can happen is a fine for a sanitation violation. That’s nothing, dorm room inspection is nothing and you’re going to take care of it.
Step Two: Talk With Your Roommate
Whether you like it or not, you and your roommate are in dorm room inspection together. It’s time to sit down and team up. Lay the news on your roommate and avoid playing the “blame game” with each other. Schedule a time as soon as possible to start binge cleaning because cleaning is time consuming. Do not let your roommate blow it off because they don’t care. Inform them of the consequences. After they understand the severity of the situation, this may be one of the few times you two bond even if it means saving your skin.
Step Three: Get Supplies And Prepare Yourself
You don’t have to go full CDC (Center of Disease Control) on your room. You’re simply tidying up, not hiding a body. About 13 bucks and a quick trip to the dollar store will solve all of your problems. Get brooms, mops, all-purpose cleaner, glass cleaner and toilet caps. Don’t forget the candles! Try to avoid air fresheners so that the conflicting smells of bleach and lavender don’t put your sinuses in a choke hold. Make sure all of your stuff is clear out of the way so that you can hit every surface hard with elbow grease. Cleaning in silence is a bummer so make sure you and your roommate play some tunes. It will make the process much easier.
Step Four: If You Got Em’, Get Rid Of Em’
Nobody wants to be a party pooper or rain on anyone’s parade. However, if you do have something that you know you should not have in your room, it would be in your best interest to dispose of it quickly. It’s almost impossible to make it through college without being exposed to drugs at least once. Drugs have taken a lot of dreams away just for the price of getting high. Plus, it’s against the school policy and the law. You don’t want the R.A coming with the campus PD right? Ultimately, they gotta go. You’ll be doing yourself a favor and “drugs are bad mmkay.”
Step 5: Keep It clean
You may not know it but RA’s have keys to everyone’s room. They are instructed to do preliminary room checks often. If you simply keep your room clean by buckling down on it at least once a week, then you will never have anything to worry about. Besides, a clean room means a clean mind. You will be the life of the party and people will trust you more because they know you don’t treat your room like a basketball locker. Just a few routine sweeps and wipes and you will be in the clear. Over time, your RA’s will let their guard down and become more lenient in the case of an incident where you forget to do steps 3 and 4.
All in all, your dorm room is your home for the next six months. It reflects the kind of person you are and first impressions in college are dominant. Your room is yours and you should treat it as if your parents are watching. Plus, cleaning increases focus which can help with academics. In short, just think about that $150 cleaning fine for every week you fail the inspection. If that does not make you clean, then I hope you have a savings account just for squandering money.