20 Signs You Were A Noughties Kid
Ah the Noughties, what an era. Our parents will remember it as a time of economic crisis, a labour government and George Bush, but for us late coming Millennials it was a time of old school Disney Channel and Cartoon Network, Motorola phones, Skins and iPod Nanos. Here are 20 signs you were a nuoghties kid!
1. Tamagotchi, Pokémon cards and Match of the Day cards were currency.
Kids now use Snapchat streaks to gain fame in the classroom but when you were at primary school everyone had a Tamagotchi on a chain round their necks, the longer yours lived the cooler you were. You’d do illegal deals with your mates with your Match of the Day cards behind the bike shed after they got banned. Everyone wanted a Fernando Torres or Frank Lampard.
2. Old Disney Channel/Cartoon Network/CBBC/Nickelodeon were your breakfast, lunch and dinner entertainment.
Forget Shake it Up, Girl Meets World or whatever sh*t they broadcast now. It was all about Lizzie McGuire, who essentially invented Bitmoji, Raven Baxter, TJ Detweiler, Fairy Odd Parents, Dick & Dom in the Bungalow and Drake & Josh.
3. The playground could become a battleground.
Before Health & Safety stepped in and left kids only being able to play with bubble wrap, you could run riot in your lunch break. British Bulldog and conkers separated the strong from the weak.
4. Jamie Oliver is the Devil.
Your mum’s fancy him and your dad’s want to be him but you hate him. Before this bast*rd turned up with his healthy eating of ‘salads’ you got nuggets, smiley faces and baked beans for lunch everyday.
5. Skins – the show not that thing on your body obviously.
Generation 1 with Tony, Sid, Mel, Cassie, Chris, Jal, Maxxie, Anwar and Effy (my favourite was actually Madison Twatter) were what you wanted your teenage years to be like. As dysfunctional, and kinda twisted, as they were, you felt a strange affinity to these misfits.
6. 3D Pinball was cutting edge.
Although in your teenage years you had access to Xbox 360s and P3/P4s, when you were 7 and it was a Saturday morning, 3D Pinball with its cr*ppy graphics was all you needed. You may also play Pokemon on Gameboy or Nintendogs on your DS.
7. Parachute made your day.
Whenever the teacher whacked out the multi-coloured parachute you know the lesson was going to be fun, only thing that could beat it was Zip Zap Boing.
8. The 10p sweet.
Remember 10p Freddos and Flumps? We learnt inflation from a young age. Also remember when Smarties were in a tube?
9. You wished you were with this Scottish bloke in a forest.
Ah Raven, was a stable before/after school tv show, and guess what? Its come back! Worryingly I think they’ll be more people in their twenties than actual kids watching it….
10. Good old Woolworths.
Your world crumbled when this stable British store went, your childhood, and the Noughties, died with it.
11. Your book shelf probably looked like this.
You waited patiently for the next Jacqueline Wilson, Anthony Horowitz, Lemony Snicket and JK Rowling books.
12. Blackberry, LG Cookie, Sony Ericsson Walkman, Motorola – not an iPhone in sight.
You remember the age of these bad boys and despite the fact you didn’t know what the f*ck a Blackberry really did, you became instantly cool if you owned one – friendships were ended by BBM statuses.
13. The era of the Pop Princess.
You grew up on Britney Spears, P!nk, Christina Aguilera, Girls Aloud and the Sugababes – looking back their sexually promiscuous lyrics explains why most of your mates lost their virginity at 14.
14. P.E. bag game needed to be strong.
If you came in to secondary school with a toggle bag you were committing social suicide. It was all about having either a Jane Norman (what do they even sell in there?), Hollister (Abercrombie & Fitch if you were a posh tw*t) or Jack Wills carrier bag.
15. Top class perfumes.
The girls changing rooms at secondary school stunk of a brothel. Everything from the So.. range, to Impulse, Hollister and Victoria Secret.
16. Remember when everything went neon?
For some reason the tail end of the Noughties saw the return of everything neon, leg warmers, those V neck tops, headbands and bead necklaces – did our parents hate us?
17. This was a stable Christmas present.
Before everyone used Spotify and Soundcloud, this was a classic stocking filler. Now 69 was a banger, bit of MIKA, Duffy and Basshunter. Bet I can make you feel old in 5 seconds, their now on 97…..
18. Club Penguin.
In the Noughties you were too young to really experience the Bebo and MySpace hype, but cruising Club Penguin (Habbo if you were a badman) was your social media.
19. Nothing beat a school disco.
The Cha Cha slide and The Crazy Frog sent you and your mates into a frenzy. The sugar in plastic tubes and drinks they sold for 5p were like crack.
20. And there were these….
For some reason you tried to make your alien putty have kids with your mates, because apparently they knew someone who made it work.
