If your somehow still unsure…here are 10 signs Manchester is the city you’ve been searching for.
Your tired of the (financial) cost of living
New figures reveal record numbers of Londoners are moving to the region – with 10,200 people settling in Greater Manchester from the capital last year. A key factor for this migration is the comparative cost of living between the two cities. For example the cost of a single months rent in London is actually three times more likely to make you scrabble around desperately to afford life, or become a banker.
To borrow more facts, which I’ve made up from my own experience, the cost of rent in Manchester is relatively cheap. You can lay your head down in a converted mill penthouse, with signature exposed brick bedroom, having finished work at 5pm on the dot and enjoyed the £1.50 bus anywhere and sampled the ‘exploding’ restaurant scene and still have change to give to the exploding homeless population. This is one of the signs that Manchester is the city you’ve been searching for.
You love the beautiful game
If you love football: Manchester is home to one of the greatest footballing institutions in the history of the Premier League, world, space, Universe and time itself. Unfortunately tickets for them are pretty hard to come by but there is a multi-million pound footballing start-up which is struggling for business across the city, which is far more feesible. Har-har-haaaaaaaaaaa …. all suffocating footy-fan chat aside – cut Manchester and it bleeds football. The grass is always greener on the otherside in Manchester…why? Because it’s a football pitch, dilbert. If a tree falls in a wood in Manchester and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Yes. It says football.
You’re craving a banging LGBT scene
A fusion of New Yorkian architecture and an Amsterdamian waterside strip, Canal Street is not only one of the most scenic streets in Manchester but also plays home to the booming LGBT nightlife in Manchester. There really is something for everyone, who is part of the LGBT community, with lesbian bars such as Vanilla and Coyotes, the all-male Eagle Manchester or the raucous G-A-Y Bar. This is one of the signs that Manchester is the city you’ve been searching for.
You love going out
‘Oh, your from Manchester? Heard it’s a great night out…’ is a phrase you will hear often if you move to Manchester. The reputation for a wild night out is all too true, from the dangers of Printworks on a Friday night through to the jammin’ underground dance floor of Soup Kitchen – MCR is a bit of a jungle late at night. From the tight-shirt tattooed rhinos who charge the streets in search of a mate, or a fight or both, to the howling orangutans wailing on the street corners having just seen their best orangutan flirt with the horny chimp with good chat they were after, through to the bunch of Slow Lloris (see picture to understand) cuddled up waiting for a taxi at 5:00am; incessantly talking about their Dad and Thundercat. It’s a bit of jungle alright but pull on your best loincloth and dive on in.
You like pubs
Manchester is awash with excellent watering holes from the genuine charm of Peverill of the Peak through to the mosaic majesty of The Marble Arch in Ancoats – there is a tipple to be enjoyed on every corner. You can quite literally spend years browsing the pub scene in Manchester and still not have to stop off at a Spoons. Although The Waterhouse on Princess St isn’t even that bad.
You’re well into craft coffee, craft ale, arts & crafts and crafty junkshops (vintage stores)
Have you ever found yourself in well-worn baggy cargo pants, browsing the Baleric/Yacht Rock category of a record store, on a craft ale induced hangover, struggling to hold down your vegan black pudding from breakfast, and when you go to the counter to ask the bald guy with a bullring nose piercing, to simply request the whereabouts of the new Earl Sweatshirt record; you Freudian slip all over the counter and say ‘…how did I get here?’. ‘Hush, hush,’ he’ll reply – a warm solidarity smile spreading wide beneath his tiny, tiny beanie. ‘It’s not so bad, is it?’. Manchester’s own Northern Quarter is a bustling home to independent outlets, style and drink/eateries – from al fresco pizzeria joints through to arts and crafts mecca Fred Aldous – it’s full of character, style and people pretending to get jazz. I love it and so should you. This is one of the signs that Manchester is the city you’ve been searching for.
You’re a media professional
Home not only to the backstreet beatboxers found in the Northern Quarter, Manchester is the creative hub for UK SMASH HIT shows like The Voice, Coronation Street plus people who say things like ‘incubate, innovate, inspire’. MediaCity UK describes itself as ‘an international hub for technology, innovation and creativity’ and as such provides office space for the BBC, ITV, Ericsson, dock10 and Kellogg’s. Plonked in Salford Quays with plans to double in size over the next 10 years – the job opportunities are going to be tempting some toward the heartlands of Manchester. This is one of the signs that Manchester is the city you’ve been searching for.
Not all people were chuffed at the BBC’s relocation. Professional bit of infected belly button fluff, Jeremy Clarkson refused to move (then) his Top Gear show to the North West. The leather bound hate sack said ‘…if we ran the show from Salford, we’d be employing people from Salford. People who were born there and thought ‘Yes, I like this. I see no reason to go anywhere else’.” Of course, none of that matters now as officially grown man, Clarkson punched a colleague because he was hungry and got fired. Plus if you’re as bigoted as him, no one wants you here anyway. This is one of the signs that Manchester is the city you’ve been searching for.
You like weekend trips to the countryside
A short drive or a dip on the Metrolink can find you in more than 500 square miles of stunning countryside; from picturesque satellite villages like Ramsbottom through to the uplifting backdrop of the Dovestone Reservoir. The stagnant grey of city living offers plenty opportunity for work and play but nothing soothes the soul like a 2/4/6 mile hike or a simple lap of a pond. Head to a local pub and fill your boots fatty; you earned it!
You’re open to the rest of the country
Are all Londoners obsessed with their careers, hair and crypto currency? For many London city slickers the idea that Uber exists outside of the capital is remarkable, but if you show them flat prices for Manchester city centre living they may literally shit their Pret-a-Manger, all over your beaten up factory boots. There is a country outside of London which has it’s own character and identity that plays second fiddle in the band, when actually the lead banjo is over-bloated, over-amplified and should stop stealing the show because no one can afford the rent prices, the government should improve funding elsewhere and I gave up on the metaphor. Don’t give up on Manchester. Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t give up.