xxxxxxxxxxx, there were things I could have said differently, things I could have done. But hindsight is a wonderfully painful thing. How easy it is to let the present of the moment slip by, not just under appreciated, but totally missed? Unwrapped yet unopened. Things could have played out so differently. This is my heartfelt open letter to the one that got away…
We’ve been awesome friends– sharing stories, lives and thoughts for 10 years. Although graduation separated us, we still hung out. Each time you left I promised myself I’ll tell you everything. Risk it all and force the hand of destiny and maybe, you’d play the same. But it just felt too explosive.
So the years passed and despite all the time together, my true feelings were never exposed. And time and distance away from you only made those feelings grow stronger. Were it not for the passage of time, and all that has happened in between, you may still just be somebody that I used to know – not so presently tethered to my day and night, slipping in-between thoughts and dreams, pointless reminders that you will never just be somebody. You are the reason for this open letter to the one that got away.
Truth be told, so slow did this forest fire burn you may have never even smelt the smoke, because I didn’t until it was too late. With each message, joke and meeting that burning desire for you grew inside of me. Who knows if you ever felt the same? There were signs. The lingering eye contact, the closeness on the balcony, the endless conversation.
Yet spending time apart has proven our chance encounter is now certain to cause pain. Years of memories, dancing with tears in their eyes, play out everyday. Sanity should resume at some point, to not have the memory of you squeeze it’s way into the everyday, from buying cans of tuna to getting on the bus to snow angels to f**cking Bruno Mars.
How different I would be without the burden of your absence on my mind? I might have been able to accept that girl’s number last weekend, focus harder on my work or simply live in the present without your presence for at least one song.
For you, life ticks by unaware of the unspoken love I walk with everyday. Your heart and mind belongs to another and you are happy. And I suppose that’s all I could hope for, but to turn back time and announce my love before it was all too late. But I hope I can express my love now in this open letter to the one that got away.
Painful as it is, just the thought of you builds a temporary bridge over the impossible distance that comes between us, and in that moment I can remember you. The way you laugh and think. The way you made me laugh. The way you made me think. I still love the way you make me feel.
I’d sooner involve myself with the memories of you than leave it all together. My imagination the only relief from life without you. I doubt you will ever read this and maybe you will never know how I feel but the truth is I love you
xxxxxxxxxxx. Stay happy.