10 Things You Will Never Hear A Student Say At UMass Amherst

There are so many things that are overheard on campus at UMass Amherst. However, these are some things that you will never hear a student say at UMass Amherst. If they do, something is definitely wrong. Keep reading for 10 things you will never hear at UMass Amherst.

1. “Wow, the Late Night at Berk line is super short today.”

You don’t have to be at UMass for long to know what times to avoid going to Berkshire Dining Commons. However, sometimes you get hungry after the other dining halls have closed, sometimes you want to treat yourself after a long day of studying, and sometimes you’re just craving some Late Night. Either way, you will be waiting in line for a while so make sure you bring your friends to socialize and pass the time. Oh, and find a table first. You don’t want to be walking around for ten minutes looking for a table with your food in your hand.

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2. “Worcester is the best dining hall on campus.”

Yes, you will never hear anyone say this. Sorry, Northeast folks. Your best bet is Frank or maybe dorm room ramen. Don’t even bother.

3. “I’m so glad I signed up for an 8 am math class across campus.”

I made this mistake my first semester. Getting up early enough to make your 8 am classes on time is hard enough, but when it’s a fifteen minute walk, it becomes even harder. It’s cold in the mornings, and you know that if you want to catch the bus you’ll have to get up even earlier. I got to a point where I would wake up five minutes before the bus came, yet somehow would be able to get dressed and make it on time (if I even went).

4. “Going to get grab and go at Frank at 12:30 is a great idea!”

Grab and go is a great invention to help you save time between classes. But you’re going to have to time it correctly. Beware of Frank’s grab and go line. Sometimes it literally takes less time to actually swipe into the dining hall.

5. “This frat is playing some great music! I love hearing Closer, Broccoli, and crappy EDM music playing back to back for 2 hours!”

Seriously, don’t the fraternity DJs get tired of these songs? And the worst part is when you think they’re playing a good Beyonce song, but it ends up just being a crappy remix with a beat drop. And I love Chance the Rapper, but I can only hear “No Problem” so many times without it becoming an actual problem.

6. “Wearing my lanyard around my neck past first semester of freshman year is a good look and will make me look really cool.”

I was never the freshman who wore the lanyard around my neck because of upperclassmen who warned me against it. Yes, it is more convenient. But you have pockets and a backpack for a reason. And if you don’t have those things, just figure it out. I keep my UCard in the sticky wallet attached to my phone, and my key in my pocket. Some people carry their lanyards around. But please–just do not wear it around your neck.

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7. “I wish it were windier. It would make my 10 minute commute to class even more exciting.”

Anyone who has walked around the library knows how intense the wind is over there. But that goes for the rest of campus, too. I allow an extra 5 or 10 minutes just for wind. And make sure to zip up your jacket, too, even if it ruins your outfit.

8. “I don’t have a favorite floor at Du Bois. I just go wherever.”

I won’t reveal my favorite floor of Du Bois because I like to think of it as the hidden treasure floor. But every student who frequents the library often has their favorite floor, for whatever reason. There are more than twenty to choose from, so how could you not?

9. “Of course I know everyone in my introductory classes.”

Introductory classes at UMass are generally the largest. There are hundreds of kids in your class, and no matter how much time you all spend together, it is impossible to get to know them all. I tried to meet people in my introductory classes the first few weeks, but after meeting them, I never saw them again. If you guys are out there, hi. I hope you’re doing well.

10. “I hate UMass.”

No matter how much we can complain about UMass, we all know there is no other college we would rather be at. Long lines, windy walks, cold mornings, and all other things considered, UMass is a great school and I couldn’t see myself anywhere else.