For me, there are two seasons of the year: Halloween and not-Halloween. Even when it’s not October, I’m thinking about Halloween to some extent. Sure, there are other great seasons and holidays, like Christmas and Thanksgiving, where you can celebrate family and love and all that stuff, but, I mean, there’s just nothing quite like the fiendish fun you can have at Halloween. Here are 15 signs that you, like me, are obsessed with Halloween.
The moment the little red numbers on your clock turn from 11:59 p.m. on September 30th to 12:00 a.m. on October 1st is the best moment of the year because it is finally October, and it is finally socially acceptable to let your freak flag fly and celebrate the day you love so much.
One of your favorite recreational activities is going to haunted houses, mazes, forests, churches- really, anything haunted. The rush of adrenaline and gut-wrenching terror are the absolute best feelings.
You get a jolt of excitement when you see that the seasonal Halloween stores have started setting up shop in your town, and you’re even more excited when you can finally go inside them and admire all the costumes and gruesome and/or horrifying displays.
If you like horror movies, there’s a good chance you watch them year round. For you Halloween enthusiasts, though, it’s essential that you cram in as many horror movies in the month of Halloween as possible. Some of your must-watch titles probably include old classics like “Halloween,” cult classics like “The Blair Witch Project, and newer hits like “The Conjuring” and its sequel.
You have trouble suggesting horror and/or Halloween movies to people because, like me, you have trouble narrowing down your viewing list because you just love them all so much. (See sign #4 for an example of this problem.)
You probably also watch Disney Channel and look for the Halloween episodes from the greatest shows of your preteen lives, like “Lizzie McGuire,” “That’s So Raven,” and “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.” Don’t forget about “Hocus Pocus” and “Halloweentown” and all its sequels. And “The Adams Family.”
No, really: you listen to “Tubular Bells” while showering, the theme from “Insidious” while combing your hair, and the theme to “Halloween” while brushing your teeth. You may or may not have even made up a dance to the theme of “American Horror Story.” And one of your favorite songs ever is “Monster Mash.”
You fondly remember Season 1’s episode, when Dennis O’Hare’s character waved that plastic jack-o-lantern in Dylan McDermott’s character’s face. It was iconic- or maybe it’s simply that O’Hare is iconic. Also, last season’s “Devil’s Night” episode with all of those serial killers was wonderful- downright disturbing, but wonderful.
You only stop reading when the wind howls and you think it’s an evil spirit or someone walks down the hallway and you think it’s Michael Myers or Freddy Krueger there to kill you. I’m just kidding, though, because you never stop.
You love gathering around a bonfire or huddling together with your friends wherever it is you guys hang out and tell the most terrifying, outrageous tales possible. You’re also extremely proud of yourself if you manage to make someone cry.
Your idea of a great time is going to the local cemetery, especially after dark when all the ghouls and goblins have come out to play.
That dress, those braids, that attitude. She is everything you aspire to be.
In fact, you’ve probably thought about decorating your Christmas tree with orange lights and hanging fake spiders and skulls on it.
Should you do something scary, like a deranged clown? Should you dress up as your favorite pop culture character? An obscure but classic character like Laura Palmer from “Twin Peaks?” Oh, the choices.
Some probably think you’re a little unhinged or a horror villain in training, but the ones who know you best totally accept and even encourage your obsession.
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