We all have our guilty pleasures, and being obsessed with astrology is certainly one of them. From overly analysing everybody’s birth charts, to planning out your entire day according to what your horoscope says, here are fifteen signs that you’re completely, utterly, and dangerously obsessed with astrology!
Phase one… Run analysis!
Chances are if you’re obsessed with astrology, you want to suss out anyone and everyone’s sun sign (and judge them accordingly).
It’s probably the most recent search in your history too.
But muuuuuum! How else am I going to calculate my rising sign?!
You look back at the time you punched your co-worker Linda in the face and just find it SO cute because it was SUCH an Aries in moon thing of you to do!
Mmmmm I love me some Leonardo Dicapricorn.
My chart is also immensely compatible with Johnny Depp’s, which only leads to substantial frustration at the fact that we’ll most likely never meet and act on our strong vibrational connection.
Do you cut off pretty much all of your friend’s stories to let it be known that “of course” Mark got played by Sarah again, to demonstrate your knowledge that she’s “SUCH a Gemini in Venus”?
I thought so.
… Which causes immense pain if they don’t have their birthday publicly displayed on Facebook.
Well, no one said being obsessed with astrology was a bad thing.
If it makes you happy and distracts you from any current life difficulties, go nuts!
Ever ghosted that REALLY cute guy that’s so far done everything right because you found out he’s a Scorpio?
Then the next because his Mercury was in Sagittarius and yours in Cancer?
And clung onto hope with the dreadful guy because of compatible Venus signs?
Yep, I see you there sis!
We’ve all sworn black and blue to never contact our ex again, and then did the deed because our horoscope informed us that “taking charge and doing what you feel is going to really pay off today!”
We won’t hold you too accountable for that one.
Every time the word ‘astrology’ pops up on television, or accidentally in conversation, everyone around you winces, awaiting you to showcase your endless knowledge.
In your eyes, it is COMPLETELY okay to refuse to associate with someone based off of their star sign, and its compatibility with your own.
… And how convenient for you that your horoscope says to “not be afraid to indulge today”. Looks like that summer-ready diet can wait for another day!
Nothing dampens a great day like getting home, kicking your feet up on the couch, and reading online that “someone doesn’t have your best interest at heart today Libra! Watch your back!”
As soon as your friend mentions a new romantic interest, you’re onto finding out their birthday, calculating their natal chart, and assessing their compatibility effective immediately.
Why risk a friend wasting their time when you’ve got the power?
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