12 Signs Your Mom Likes Your Dogs Better Than You

They say that your mom will love you forever, unconditionally. They say that your mom will never put anyone before you. Clearly whoever said that has never had a dog. Here are 20 signs your mom likes your dogs better than you:

1) The dogs have more toys than you ever did.

Bones on bones on bones. You can’t walk 10 steps in your house before hearing that piercing “squeak” of a fish plush or tennis ball. Toys. Are. Everywhere.

2) Your mom never forgets to feed them.

Have you ever had those nights when your mom is running around cleaning the house or running errands and forgets to make you dinner? Yeah, well, she didn’t forget to feed the dog, just you.

3) They have cuter names than you.

Trixie, Daisy, Boo, Roxy, Ruby…your mom clearly put more thought into the dogs’ names than she did into your name. Then again, she didn’t have to go through hours of labor to pick out a dog…

4) She spends more money on their birthday gifts than yours.

Last year, my mom got my dogs one of those doggy video chat bowls for two hundred dollars. You know what she got me? A gift card to Wawa.

5) Let’s talk about the names again…

It is obvious when your mom names the dogs names like Princess and Angel that she likes them more. Just accept it, Princess will be number one on the family totem pole.

6) Your mom’s background on her phone…guess who?

I would love to think that my mom puts my family holiday photo or a cute baby picture of me as her background, but no. My mom’s background is a blurry, dim lit photo of my dog begging for a treat. How lovely.

7) She will let your dogs lick right off the corner of her mouth.

I would never want to do that but come on, moms, isn’t that crossing the line? That’s way more personal than breast feeding.

8) The dogs have better health care than you.

Monthly check ups, bi-monthly teeth cleaning, a $200 flea hair brush, and all I get is the same pediatrician that I’ve had since I was a baby maybe once a year. And the pediatrician stopped giving me lollipops years ago…

9) She lets them take up as much space on her bed as they please.

Your mom is curled up in a ball on the edge of the bed while your dogs are sprawled out, wrapped up in all of the blankets. When I was little and had a bad dream, my mom would send me back to bed with a wave of her hand rather than let me sleep in her bed, and she does this?!

10) Your dogs have gone on more vacations than you.

Last year, my mom sent me a video of my dog burying her bone in the sand in Miami. I didn’t even know my mom was gone.

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11) She has at least one shirt with your dog’s faces on it.

The second your mom gets home from work, it is off with the blazer, and on with the “Dog Mom” t-shirt. She has no problem going in public in that shirt. She has a shirt with your face on it too! But remember the last time she wore that in public? Yeah, neither do I.

Oh, and she Instagrams it too.

12) Your mom and the dogs don’t go anywhere without each other.

The grocery store, the mall, the gym…everywhere. When my mom found out that Bloomingdale’s lets you bring your dog, big or small, I think I saw a tear of joy run down her face.

You were your mom’s number one until the dogs came around. The newest additions to the family quickly climbed the family totem pole. They have peed on your clothes and chewed up your shoes. But you wouldn’t trade those little rascals for the world.

Don’t deny it, you like them better than most of your family members too.