Now that everyone is self-quarantining, a lot of your date nights are going to consist of a watching movies at home. There are some movies that, while entertaining, just do not lend themselves to a good date night. With that in mind, here is a helpful list of five horrible date movies you should avoid!
1. Gone Girl
David Fincher’s filmography is not what you would generally call “date movie material,” seeing as how his films often involve dark and controversial subject matter. Typically, Fincher’s films would be considered horrible date movies. Fincher’s 2014 film, Gone Girl follows Nick Dunne, a writing teacher who has grown apathetic within his marriage. His disinterest in his relationship with his wife leads to his having an affair with one of his students. All of this would be bad enough, but the situation only gets worse. When he is falsely accused of the murder of his wife, the film showcases a lethal level of deception within Dunne’s relationship. By the end, you’ll be giving awkward side glances to your girlfriend and you may even feel unsafe in your own apartment. As with all of the films on this list, Gone Girl is excellent and should definitely be added to your watchlist – just be sure to watch it on your own. Otherwise, you may end up feeling very uncomfortable sitting next to your significant other.
2. Marriage Story
Marriage Story is the completed vision of writer, director, and producer Noah Baumbach. Of all of the horrible date movies on this list, Marriage Story might be the most emotionally impactful. Simply put, if you have gone through a bad breakup at some point in your life, you may struggle with some of the more tense scenes in this film. Starring Scarlett Johansson as Nicole and Adam Driver as Charlie, Marriage Story details the slow, drawn out end of a relationship. Watching Nicole and Charlie’s arguments play out is an uncomfortable reminder of the horrible things you are capable of saying, whether or not you mean them. Marriage Story is a stark example of people choosing their own interests over the good of the relationship as a whole. Nicole wants to move to Los Angeles to pursue her acting career, while Charlie wants to stay in New York and work on Broadway. While their relationship was already rocky, these separate career paths prove to be the final nail in the coffin. You can feel the pain of the characters through Driver and Johansson’s excellent performances. It is clear that Nicole and Charlie still love each other in some way, but their relationship is beyond saving. Marriage Story may currently be available on Netflix, but it might be better to watch by yourself.
Horror fans, here is your breakup movie. Midsommar is director Ari Astor’s second film, after his critically acclaimed 2018 outing, Hereditary. Starring Academy Award nominee Florence Pugh as Dani, Midsommar is a folk horror film that involves a Swedish cult’s midsummer celebration. While some couples do love watching horror movies on dates, Midsommar should probably be saved for another occasion, as its graphic violence and ending make it one of the more harrowing horrible date movies on this list. Astor’s film showcases suicide, trauma, infidelity, and the literal death of a relationship. This film will make you feel uncomfortable even if you are watching it alone, so it should go without saying that it is a horrible date movie.
4. Blue Valentine
Derek Cianfrance’s Blue Valentine was released in 2010 and, since then, has garnered a reputation for being discomforting and quite sad. Blue Valentine follows Dean and Cindy’s fragile relationship as it slowly deteriorates over the years. Viewers will have to watch Dean and Cindy’s dreams come and go, as they slowly grow to dislike each other. It is a difficult movie to watch when you are in a relationship. You might find yourself questioning your future with your significant other. Despite its name and the fact that it stars Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine is far from the romantic romp that you might think it is. Unless you want to cast uncertainty over your relationship’s future, you should avoid using Blue Valentine as a date movie.
5. Requiem For A Dream
Of all of the horrible date movies on this list, Daron Aronofsky’s Requiem For A Dream is the most soul crushing. While this film does deal with the dissolution of a relationship, it is really just the disturbing tone of the film that qualifies it for this list. Requiem For A Dream follows Sara Goldfarb, her son Harry and his girlfriend Marion Silver. These characters all struggle with the throes of addiction, with Sara being addicted to amphetamines and Harry and Marion being addicted to heroin. By now, you have no doubt heard this film’s famous score used ad nauseam in trailers and promotions for other films. Watching this movie will forever change how you hear that score. While it is typically used to convey the sense that something is epic or action packed, in this film it is used to convey the severity of the characters’ respective situations. Watching this with your significant other is akin to watching an addiction documentary, only without the promise of recovery. There is no light at the end of the tunnel with Requiem For A Dream – just an hour and fifty minutes of pure discomfort.
Bonus: Daniel Sloss’s “Jigsaw”
While it technically does not qualify as a horrible date “movie,” Daniel Sloss’s comedy special titled “Jigsaw” is certainly worth mentioning. Sloss’s material is dark, sardonic, and irreverent. He approaches comedy in such a way that you, as a viewer, end up questioning your own life choices. Is she or he really right for you? Without a doubt, this comedy special has ended relationships. Sloss even says as much at one point during his time on stage, claiming that he keeps track of the breakups through social media. In his opinion, if your love is true, you have nothing to worry about.