Here’s Why There is Strength in Forgiveness

Having the capacity of forgiveness is a beautiful quality to adhere to life by, and should be given more public praise. Here's why there is strength in forgiveness.

Do you ever find yourself asking “Why do I constantly forgive people so easily?”. Do you ever feel like always being the one to forgive makes you weak? Or that it makes you susceptible to more pain of wrongdoing? Yet, you continue to forgive over and over. If this sounds like you, I am here to tell you that no, you are not weak. In fact, you are extremely strong. Having the capacity of forgiveness is a beautiful quality to adhere to life by, and should be given more public praise. Here’s why there is strength in forgiveness:

1. It takes a lot more for us to say “It’s okay” than simply “I’m sorry.”

True, it takes some mustering up of confidence to hurt our pride, admit a wrong doing, and say “I’m sorry”. But, many times an apology can be not so sincere. People often apologize out of a desire to end conflict, even if they truly do not believe they were in the wrong. When you accept an apology and forgive, you have to mean it. Choosing to forgive is a personal choice to fight the natural human instinct to be mean back. Fighting this instinct is hard, and what’s even harder is keeping the past in the past. Saying “It’s okay” means that we must come to terms with the wrong doing, choose to let it go, and make sure it never returns. When we forgive, we hold this power in our hands.

2. To forgive means that you understand that no one is perfect.

We forgive out of the understanding that all humans make mistakes. These mistakes are often seen as imperfections. Yet, forgiving someone shows us that it is okay to make mistakes. Those who forgive do not let these mistakes define anyone, and will not let mistakes define themselves. Having the capacity of forgiveness allows you to be an absolver of shame, and a light at the end of a dark tunnel. How humbling is that?

3. When you forgive, you are letting your guard down.

Sometimes when I forgive someone, I regret it because I end up getting hurt again. This makes me question why I continue to forgive so easily – and then I remember it is because I am kindhearted and brave in nature. For those of you who can relate to this, be proud of yourself. You understand that you are letting your guard down and that you are becoming vulnerable to being hurt again. Allowing for this glimmer of vulnerability is a true quality of strength and bravery. Who likes being vulnerable? No one. But we forgivers, we open our hearts to vulnerability out of the hope of a peaceful future. And that is stronger than any amount of physical strength.

4. Those of us who forgive are the patrons of love.

We forgive simply out of love. If there was no one on this earth with the capacity for forgiveness, we would be living in a world full of hate. By forgiving, you choose to spread your love and hope to others. You make the world a better place.

5. While you can forgive, you cannot always forget.

Forgiving someone does not mean that you will forget what they have done. Rather, you are choosing to put that memory in a box, lock it up, and place it on a shelf far in the back of your mind, where it will sit for the rest of your life. You will always carry that box with you, and some days, the box may fall off of that shelf. But, you will be smart and decide to put it back where it belongs. Choosing to keep that box locked up and in place takes strength.

6. We do not forgive for the sake of others – we forgive for ourselves.

Recognizing that anger is the true burden of the situation is the first step. Understanding that this burden will weigh you down is what follows, and choosing to let it go comes next. But, you are not letting it go because the person who has hurt you “deserves” forgiveness. You are letting it go because you recognize that you deserve peace of mind, and to move on and be happy. Forgiveness heals our souls, and doing this for yourself speaks to strength of character.

7. Forgiveness forces you to grow beyond who you are.

Forgiveness is an action of freedom, and we need to be free to grow. Every time you forgive, you are learning a new lesson – you are maturing. Forgiveness is the hope of a brighter future, and by forgiving, you are working on that future.