This holiday season isn’t going to look like any that have come before. Gone are the large family get-togethers (thank god) and here to stay are the kooky gifts that could only have come during a nearly-year long quarantine period. If your list of gifts is looking a bit short as the holiday season approaches, try surprising your loved ones with these COVID-related gifts that will certainly leave an impression.
Practical and now stylish, face masks are a requirement for any empathetic, non-conspiracy theory lunatic in your immediate circle. If someone doesn’t have one, first off, how? But this is also your chance to gift them a necessary piece of medical equipment that doubles as a fashionable facial garment.
There are a variety of styles you can go for. Look, for instance, at the terrifying “santa’s mouth over your mouth” style of face covering. Maybe you’re not as into replicating St. Nick’s bearded maw with your own and instead want something a little more basic. There are designs for you too, with elves and snow and twinkling lights making the season a little brighter, and a little safer, for everyone.
We’re all stuck inside anyway, so we might as well watch some of our favorite movies and shows as we wait for this ungodly pandemic to pass.
The question is: what service do you go with? You’re probably living under a rock if you don’t have a Netflix subscription, but some of the other best services have bundles you can take advantage of. The “Disney Bundle” gets you Disney+, Hulu, and ESPN+ to satisfy any kind of fanatic in your house, while the Amazon Prime/HBO Now bundle gets you access to some of the best shows and movies of all time.
Whichever service you decide to go with, it will be a soothing balm for relaxing after avoiding old people who don’t wear masks at work, or to distract the kids while the inexplicable family gathering still somehow came to fruition this year. You can’t put a price on good quality entertainment, unless you’re Disney+, in which case you’re going to have to pay a few extra bucks for Mulan (oh wait I said quality entertainment. Never mind).
Putting your very specific feelings on your personal items is fun. I mean, just look at this “Wash Your Fucking Hands” travel cup/thermos. It’s perfect. I just bought seven of them, one for every day where I have to remind someone to wash their fucking hands. Sometimes things are just made for you.
If you haven’t noticed, people tend to enjoy video games. Especially during quarantine, the popularity of multiplayer games has exploded as a way to connect with friends when in-person hang outs weren’t possible. If you haven’t dipped your toe into the world of online virtual gaming, the holiday season is the perfect time to spend that dough to get started.
If you want low-pressure party games that don’t require coordination or kind of skill beyond being funny, go with a Jackbox Party Pack. Games like Drawful and Quiplash are easy ways to bring the party to the TV screen without having to physically be in the same room as your opponents, and they present a light alternative to the classic board game night.
If you want to get more into PC gaming, there are options for beginners and professionals. Games like Fall Guys and Among Us are great multiplayers for the uninitiated, requiring relatively little skill or competency to enjoy and be good at. Minecraft is classic that might take some getting used to but becomes addicting after the basics are learned. From there, first person shooters like Call of Duty: Warzone, multiplayer sports games like FIFA, and difficult platformers like Cuphead all provide a variety of experiences for every type of player.
No, not a basket full of COVID. That would be silly. Also, where would you get that? Who would be selling that?
The COVID gift basket is a variety pack for the modern buyer of hand lotion or the chic scented candle enthusiast. Branded with COVID related messages that anyone can find relatable right now, relieve the stress of being forced inside by disease and wildfires with a merch bundle packed with overpriced objects you could find for cheap at Bed, Bath and Beyond (ok no one said all these gifts are going to be optimal, but they’re still worth a look).
Remind your family about how shitty 2020 was for years to come with face mask themed ornament. They come in a variety of styles, including face masked Santa, face masked reindeer, face masked elves, and face masked anything else that has anything to do with Christmas. This is the gift that will be a fun little reference to this absolutely exhausting year, with you and your family getting a nice little chuckle and a series of traumatic flashbacks every time you hang it up on the tree. Happy Holidays!
Let’s be honest, this is all anyone is going to want this season. We have been through a hell of a year, between quarantines and gender reveals that have turned into natural disasters. Every time Donald Trump mentions “herd mentality” as a cure for COVID, all anyone wants is to crack open something cold that will make them forget about the awful realities happening around us.
The beauty of alcohol is that it’s an evergreen gift. It is perfect for any holiday, any occasion (except maybe a baby shower…), and any season, but ESPECIALLY the holiday season. A gift basket of various liquors, wines, shooters, and beers is the perfect gift for your loved ones who survived the season or was lucky enough to make it to their 21st birthday. Cheers to another year, hopefully now rid of this virus.
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