You’ve probably seen all the memes and heard all the jokes about UNSW’s failing transport system. It’s been a constant source of mockery by other universities and local students alike, but let’s admit it, reliable transport is not one of UNSW’s strong points. Here are 10 questions we’d like to ask the university’s transport system.
1. Dear Mr Bus, is it going to be an MIA or a squad outing this morning?
You’re either waiting in the rain for a single, measly, non-bendy bus for who knows how long, or the next minute there are five buses all lining up on the curb and you’re dashing for the furthest one so you get a seat. There is literally no in-between.
2. Is it free-travel day today? Please let it be free today.
Nothing is more musical than the consecutive dings of tapped on opal cards, with the rare modulation to the two-tone ring of doom when someone finds their transaction rejected because #studentbudget. Having said that, nothing is sweeter than the sound of silence because you know then that the opal machines are closed – which means you get a free ride!
3. So how many make-out sessions have you seen in your lifetime, Bus?
Let’s not pretend that buses have a notorious reputation for playing host to touchy couples everywhere. But just how many slob-fests have you been witness to?
4. Was a public OH&S (Occupational Health and Safety) check completed for the 891 bus line?
Eddy Avenue is infamous for its long lines. There is nothing worse than when the queue snakes up through Belmore Park, whose 19th century construction was probably not intended to facilitate the thousand-student strong line every morning. Fast forward to the 21st century and I’m pretty sure the ritual procession for the bus does not comply with NSW’s standard safety guidelines.
5. How many times has the 891 actually committed a felony?
Did you know that school buses are only allowed to carry 65 people on board and city buses only 80 max? Hard to tell with the cheek smudges on the window panes and twisted ankles when turning sharp corners. Pretty sure some law was broken at one stage by the buses.
6. Onsite parking is free, huh?
Said every UNSW student in excitement during O-Week. Until you hear that the deal is only valid if you come to uni on weekends or before 7:30am during the week.
7. So who decided on the pink shirts?
UNSW’s already has Yellow Shirts and Green Shirts. Seems like they wanted to complete the whole traffic light look and designed a pink shirt specifically for transport volunteers. Well, they certainly stop traffic.
8. Will the light rail really make things better?
Jokes aside, this is a serious concern for all UNSW students. Will this red box tram-replacement really make students’ lives better? Next thing you know there’s a file for manslaughter because too many people are standing with not enough handholds and someone’s toppled over somebody else’s shoelaces.
9. So, does the North Concourse basically belong to us, or what?
Everyday the North Concourse is flooded with UNSW students on Eddy Avenue. I mean, UTS can have the South Concourse and USyd can have Redfern, but the North? That is solely UNSW territory.
10. Madam Transport System, are you sick of us uni students making fun of you?
Probably. But UNSW students are known for their complaining because it’s all they can do to survive the monotonous and meaningless existence that is #unilyfe.
What questions would you ask the UNSW transport system!? Share in the comments below!
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