An Open Letter to The Ex Who Ruined My Self Confidence

At some point in our lives we put our foot down and say, “Enough is enough.” Sometimes when we muster up the courage it might be too late. I’d like to dedicate this open letter to the ex who ruined my self-confidence.

You Never Complimented Me

After spending hours looking for the perfect outfit, I settle for that beautiful Reformation dress I spent a good chunk of my paycheck on, hoping it’ll look okay. Although when I walk up to you, your comment isn’t what I expected, “If you would just push your shoulders back, you would look better when you walk.” Now I can’t go into a store without mentally cursing myself when I slouch or hunch over a bit. My eyes stay glued to the ground because maybe, if I think hard enough my shadow will magically make me walk ‘normal,’ not knock-kneed. Dear ex, why couldn’t you appreciate my flaws and tell me I’m beautiful any way. Your words hurt and my self-confidence is ruined- even five years later.

You Said You Could Do Better

Those late-night talks with you seemed to always end up bad. I asked how the party went and if you had fun. Your only reply to me is that you were thinking about cheating and with someone prettier than me. You said I should be lucky you’re with me. Do you remember that? My grandma always told me “sticks, and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt you,” but they did – it stung. I still ache from that night. Despite what everyone tells me I still don’t feel worthy enough. Dear ex, thank you for those words. Without them, I wouldn’t be who I am today and I wouldn’t of meant my loving husband.

Everything Was Always About You

For me, there wasn’t a time I can remember when you didn’t make our conversations revolve around you. You never took my feelings into consideration, and when you did, it wasn’t sincere. Remember that time I told you I couldn’t make it? I had to help a friend in need, and so you told me I didn’t care – that I never did. I really needed your support, but all I received were harsh words. Dear ex, I’ve learned so much with my time spent with you. And, so I thank you because I wouldn’t of learned the dos and don’ts to a successful relationship.

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My Feelings Were No Longer Mutual

After our last breakup you kept saying my feelings for you were not the same as yours. But, how could you expect me to love you, when all you did was make me feel so worthless. Who could possibly love a person like that. My feelings for you faded as did your words overtime. Even now it’s like you’re behind me, whispering insults every chance you get. To the ex who ruined my self-confidence, I thank you. Your words have made me stronger. Sometimes my off days are more abundant than the good ones, but that’s okay. I have someone who whispers sweet things and his voice overpowers yours.

Thank you, for making me realize that there was something more for me. All those awful things you said, now I feel invincible, untouchable, nothing can hurt me. Thank you for the time we shared, from that I know a relationship goes both ways, give and take. All you did was take, but not anymore. To the Ex Who Ruined My Self-Confidence, I hope you’re living a full and happy life. I know I am.