Whether you work in the food industry, retail, customer service, or whatever other job that requires you to give up those coveted Saturday and Sundays; the fact that you work weekends means you can relate to some things that those on the Monday-Friday grind just simply can’t. Here are 20 things you only understand if you work weekends.
Having sporadic weekdays off is not quite the same.
On the plus side, you don’t have the same detest for Mondays that weekday workers do.
“Nice weekend?” OH, GO AWAY. People need to come up with some work-neutral small talk phrases. May we suggest “Was the last-day-you-had-off nice?” as a more PC alternative?
“You know what? Let’s go first class recorded because I’m walking on air right now.”
But when you arrive to nights out super-late after work, your ability to squeeze 10 hours worth of drinking into just three is award-worthy.
Is this some kind of sick joke? I probably would if it wasn’t for the likes of YOU requiring my service.
But you secretly love watching it on your days off. And at least Jeremy Kyle reminds you things could be much, much worse.
You often have to return to the scene of the crime and face alcohol again if you work in service. *shudder* But you can never call in sick because your boss will just ASSUME you’re hungover. Which you are. Waa.
You have to pick up their slack and you become a total hypocrite, looking down on them for not taking their job seriously enough. And for smelling like a human beer mat. Dipped in sick.
As much as you try and kid yourself, Monday lunch is just not the same.
“What do you MEAN you can’t get drunk on Monday night with me? Bad friend.”
On the most BBQ-worthy weekend of summer, you are shivering in a cardigan.
NO, STILL SOBER, STILL THINK YOU’RE A DICK.
The *eternal* and everlasting judgement you give the parents who come in with their disgusting kids on a Saturday morning and spend £10 on toast and a smoothie for ‘little poppet,’ who just mashes it all into the floor for you anyway. Good parenting, guys *slow clap*.
Coming from the customer who came in for a morning coffee AND AGAIN for beers in the evening. No mate, I’m paid to be here. You’re the saddo who’s OBSESSED WITH THIS PLACE.
So you form weird but undeniable bonds with workmates you’d never realistically speak to in real-life.
Especially during sale season. You get to see the rails of clothes while they’re still pristine and un-trashed!
Which queue-free till to choose? The options are endless!
Depending on your family, this is either terrible or fucking fantastic…
The shop queues, the traffic, the pedestrians everywhere. This is what you’re missing? They can keep it.
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