Whenever I see those articles titled “I’m [insert young age] and I’ve never had a boyfriend,” I hesitate to bother opening them. I’m 20 and single, and I shouldn’t be made to feel bad about it.
While I can relate to the whole “never had a boyfriend thing,” it really irks me that society has created this idea that us girls need to have a boyfriend at some point during high school or college. I wish that more girls could recognize that this is just a societal pressure and not our reality.
The pros of being 20 and single:
It is a given that there are lots of benefits to being in a relationship. Individuals get to develop intimate feelings and feel less alone because of this close companionship. At times, I really wish I could experience being in one, instead of being involved with guys that leave me in the “complicated” phase.
Relationships aren’t as perfect as they seem.
Relationships aren’t as perfect as they are made out to be by the media. Maintaining a relationship takes hard work, and is far more difficult that most people would think. Jealousy, insecurity, and lack of trust are just a few of many factors that can trigger arguments between couples. In order to form a lasting relationship, couples need to have strong communication and honesty.
You do not need to be ready to commit.
Lots of young adults especially are simply not ready for this level of commitment. There are many other things to focus on, such as school, work, and friendships. Young adults often care more about having fun single than being tied down to one person.
You won’t be held back from your relationship.
Other young adults fall for the glamorization of relationships without recognizing that it may not be the best thing for them. Because of societal pressures, many girls are left feeling as though a relationships needs to be a part of their lives, and it needs to be perfect.
You have plenty of time to explore.
More people should recognize that they still have their whole lives to explore their options, and that it is okay to focus on yourself and put commitment to the side.
The cons of being 20 and single:
You will experience loneliness.
Even though it has its perks, being single is not perfect either. Many of us who are interested in relationships can’t help but feel lonely sometimes. We can go from being content with things to suddenly feeling weird when we stumble across a “20 and single” article, or we spot a cute couple on Instagram.
You will feel insecure about being single.
We try to shrug off the jealousy and hurt and pretend that it doesn’t get to us. We try to remember that just because a couple might look happy and perfect on the outside, that doesn’t mean that it is fully true. We joke with our friends about how relationships are stupid and that being single is the best way to go.
Sometimes we blame ourselves for why we are single.
Sometimes our emotions take over and a feeling of loneliness consumes us. We begin to question ourselves and wonder why we haven’t been able to find that special someone yet or why that person won’t commit to us. We don’t understand why relationships seem to come so naturally for everyone else.
Overthinking all of society’s relationship nonsense causes far more problems than it’s worth. Accepting being single and focusing on other things will help lead us the right direction in going about our lives.
It is much easier said than done to just accept that it is okay not to be in a relationship yet. We are young, and there is still so much of our lives left to explore!
What is your favorite thing about being single or in a relationship? Comment below and share your thoughts with our readers!
Rachel Porter is a junior at Temple University. She's studying magazine journalism but likes to expand her mind and check out other options. She's a total city girl and loves being in Philly. She likes to draw, paint & take photos of scenery as a small hobby when she isn't busy writing.