As a beginner, dating apps can be intimidating and overwhelming. Where do you start? Simply meeting people can be nerve-wracking by itself, but trying to make meaningful connections over the phone using nothing but a short biography and a few photos can be even more complicated. However, dating apps don’t have to be scary, and you can actually find some great people on them. Here are 10 tips for dating app novices to help you get started.
When trying online dating, first impressions matter. To put your best foot forward, you want your photos to reflect the best version of yourself. Your images should be clear and centered. You should also aim to include several different establishing photos. One photo should be close up to highlight your features. Another photo should be a distance shot that shows a complete view of your entire body. Try to avoid selfies or mirror pictures. Photos of yourself that are taken by others are best. Ideally, these photos would include some of your interests and broadcast your personality.
Try not to begin conversations with one-word introductions like “hi” or “hey.” You will quickly fall into an inescapable loop of small talk. Try to begin discussions with their interests. Ask a question that requires a response. If they enjoy listening to music, ask them their favorite genres or artists. If they have a hobby or a profession, ask them why they chose that profession. If you’re unsure what to ask, ask what their favorite ways to spend their time. Any of these questions lend themselves to deeper, more interesting conversations. If you can avoid being boring, you’ll be more likely to make a lasting connection.
The only way you’ll truly succeed in the dating app world is to be honest about yourself and what you want in a partner. Resist the urge to embellish your profile or tell less than the truth to land a date. Compatability is important, and you won’t know if you and your partner are compatible if you aren’t telling the truth. To that same point, don’t settle for anything less than what you want in a partner. This way, you can avoid those uncomfortable conversations. Be honest about your expectations and go from there. Compromise is always possible, but if you find yourself compromising too much, they probably aren’t the person for you.
The apps that you chose will likely reflect the type of relationship you’re looking for. Different dating apps have reputations for different kinds of users. Knowing the purpose of the apps you choose will help you find partners looking for the same things. Tinder, one of the most popular dating apps, has a reputation as an app for hookups. However, it is very possible to find genuine relationships through Tinder. You’ll just have to do a bit of digging. Hinge, the app that deems itself “the app created to be deleted,” is more relationship-focused. You may even have more luck on paid dating websites like Match.com.
Your bio is a space for all the information about yourself that a photo cannot portray. Specificity is key! Highlight your likes, hobbies, and passions. This way, you’ll attract like-minded individuals with whom you share commonalities. Leaving your bio vague opens the door for interpretation. Your time is valuable, and you don’t want to spend it weeding through people you know you’re not interested in.
Most dating apps are not tailored to be inclusive for queer individuals. So, to avoid the added stress of weeding through uninteresting straight people, you can try queer specific dating apps! Apps like Her and OkCupid are great places to start.
The best way to land a date or maintain connections is to remain active on your apps. Everyone is busy, so no, you shouldn’t be obsessively checking your dating apps. However, if you’re serious about online dating, dedicating some time every few days to swipe and respond to messages is sure to yield results. You can’t meet anyone if you don’t try! Also, the longer you keep people waiting in your messages, the less likely they are to respond to you at all. Show that you’re interested in keeping up with your conversations!
Sometimes being single isn’t all bad! Taking the time to get to know yourself before entering the dating scene can drastically improve your experience. Take some time to travel, nurture platonic and familial relationships, or set out on your career path. Learning to love yourself and catering to your own wants and needs will help you pursue a partner. Your relationships should be positive additions to your life, but they shouldn’t take precedent over your own wellbeing.
Any functioning relationship involves compromise, but in the early stages of online dating, try to stay true to yourself and what you want in a partner. Don’t sweat it if you don’t fit into someone’s “type.” Similarly, if someone isn’t your type, don’t feel bad about pursuing someone else! Don’t try to change yourself for any partner. There are plenty of fish in the sea, many of which will accept you just the way you are.
Although you may have your heart set on a specific type of partner, keep your mind open to different options. Expand your expectations. People can surprise you. Cast a wide net and see what comes to you! Don’t write people off immediately. You may find your next partner in a place you’d never expect. Don’t write off people you may have seen in real life, either. It’s great to be open to all options but don’t forget to stay true to yourself and trust your gut!
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