Breakups are tough. We know that, so we have provided a list of things you definitely should not do after a breakup. We hope that this list helps you as you walk through heartbreak and try to move on.
1. Don’t Listen To Sad Music
Sad or romantic music will just make things worse. Try to not listen to those music genres. Consider making a playlist of your favorite songs so that you aren’t caught off guard by something on the radio. You can also listen to podcasts or audiobooks so that you don’t sit in silence. Try to avoid sad songs while still playing some music in your room.
2. Don’t Talk Poorly About Your Ex
Talking poorly about your ex will make things worse for you and them. If you and your ex have the same friend group your nasty words will eventually be repeated to them. If you don’t have anything nice to say, just don’t say anything at all.
If you want to unpack everything that happened, talk with a trusted friend or mentor. They will listen to you, provide comforting words, and help you move on. If they have been through a breakup, they can give you positive affirmations to speak over yourself rather than dwelling on your bitterness.
3. Don’t Look Through Old Pictures
Definitely don’t look through old pictures after you break up. This is a sure way to stir up feelings and make you want your ex back. You may want to delete the pictures so that you are not tempted to look at them. You will also want to take down any picture frames that have you and your ex in them. Remove all the reminders of them from your house so that you are free to move on.
After deleting the pictures with your ex, keep taking pictures with friends! Create new memories and preserve them in pictures. Taking new pictures to replace the old ones is one way to ease the pain of a breakup.
4. Don’t Look Through Text Messages
Delete any messages between you and your ex. Even if you get back together, you do not need those messages. Looking through old messages will make you miss what you had even more. If you hesitate to delete the messages, ask a friend to hold you accountable. In the long run, you will be much happier if you don’t allow those messages to tempt you.
5. Don’t Isolate Yourself
Don’t avoid your friends after a breakup. If they are true friends, they will want to comfort you. True friends will hold you while you cry and listen to you without talking. If your friends don’t make a point to be there for you, you might want to find a different friend group.
Make plans to hang out with your friends! Sometimes it is better to stay busy as the rawness of a breakup wears off. Plan a shopping day, go to a movie, have a spa day, or invite your friends to your house. If you avoid people, you will feel more lonely and you will have a much harder time getting over your ex.
6. Don’t Spend Time On Social Media
Too much time on social media is already bad for your health. If you spend hours scrolling through posts and reels your mental health will decline. Don’t expose yourself to pictures of other couples on social media. Your heart is sad enough without that.
Try doing a social media detox with your friends! Take at least 30 days away from social media. You will be amazed by how much clearer your mind is! It is up to you whether you continue to follow your ex on social media. Just be warned, it is painful to see them doing things without you, and it will make you sad when you see their new boyfriend or girlfriend. Save yourself the heartache by unfollowing them.
7. Don’t Compromise Your Health
Don’t give up on your workout routine, and don’t forget to eat nutritious meals. When you are sad you may not want to eat, but you must continue to nourish your body. Don’t slack on going to the gym either. It is okay to take some time off, but try to get back into your workout routine as soon as possible.
If you need accountability with eating, exercising, and overall health, ask a friend to be your accountability partner! They can be your gym buddy, or they can come over to help you cook meals. You can ask them to journal with you or do meditation exercises. Your body will thank you for taking care of it.
8. Don’t Suppress Your Emotions
If you suppress your emotions, you will eventually explode. Don’t let yourself get to the point where you say something you don’t mean. Journal about how you feel or talk to a friend. Give yourself the freedom to cry and be vulnerable. Breakups are hard, and no one gets over them fast. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings. There will be a day when you are not grieving your loss, but nobody expects you to be just fine after a fresh breakup.
9. Don’t Try To See Your Ex
Don’t make any attempts to see your ex. If you do the same activities, attend the same school, or work together, it might be hard to avoid them. You do not have to give them the cold shoulder, but don’t intentionally plan to see them. This will make the breakup more painful for both of you.
If you do run into your ex, try not to make it awkward. A casual hello or at least a smile to acknowledge their presence is enough. If you want space after you break up, make sure you communicate that to them. You both need to agree on how you will handle future encounters.
10. Don’t Rush Into Another Relationship
After you break up, don’t immediately pursue another relationship. Give yourself time to heal emotionally and physically. Rushing into another relationship can create emotional damage for you and your new partner. Take some time for yourself, enjoy your friends, and look for lessons to learn from your breakup.