Your laying in bed, looking up at the blank ceiling imaging being in love with your special someone. You feel amazing and you can’t stop thinking about them. Is this love? Or lust? What is even the difference? Here are 10 ways to tell if you are in lust or in love with your so-called lover!
1. Love or lust
Falling in love usually doesn’t happen overnight, but it sure does happen naturally. How are we even supposed to tell if we are actually falling love with someone or just lust? To start off Lust is a feeling you get that is mainly, lets just say, SEXUAL. You are attracted to them… but mostly their body? Where I’m getting at here is that you want their clothes to be torn off faster than you can blink. It’s just the honest truth!
Love on the other hand is also about the attraction, but it isn’t the main focal point as much. When you start to fall in love with someone you feel a deep connection towards them. You want to talk about the hard topics such as their passions and dreams, their family, the not so happy moments. It’s about seeing the true beauty in someone no matter their positives or negatives. Accepting one another for who they are and wanting to be around that person all the time is the true essence of love.
2. Fantasy vs. commitment
When you have lust for someone, you enjoy the fantasy of them. It is the excitement that you both bring to the table that makes the fling you have with someone enjoyable. When you see each other, you are so attracted to the unknown of who they are. It’s the mystery that is fun. It isn’t anything more than that. It’s not about really getting to know the person.
As for when it comes to falling in love, it’s about building the relationship you have with that person on a deeper level. You are attracted to that person, but you move past just the physical and you are now into the emotional aspect. Do you feel that you are able to trust them, even when you are being vulnerable? Do they give you the freedom to let go and be yourself? If you said yes, then you are most likely on the trackway to falling in love.
The best piece of advice when trying to figure out if you are in lust or love is by talking to them. Do you feel like every conversation feels like you are trying to impress the other person with your answers? If so, then you are definitely feeling the LUST. Trying to impress or “people please” the conversation, does nothing but keep the relationship at a basic level.
A relationship that is in love will have conversations about anything and everything. The best part, it’s not about pleasing the other person. It’s about giving your opinion about what you think about the conversations you have. If you disagree with what the other person says, that’s okay. That’s more than okay!
If you are both able to have fun and say what you want to say in the moments you have together without the fear of letting the other person down based on your answer, then you know something is moving in the love direction. Love just gives you the feeling of wanting to be real with that person you care about it. Not to be fake or mean for that matter. Just real. Everything comes from a place of love.
Lust can be a lot of fun, well because it’s mainly just about sex. Okay, fine. It’s pretty much all about sex. There is nothing wrong with that if that’s what you’re looking to do. There is one thing that happens that is undeniable that will tell you if it is lust or love at this moment. It’s that there will be awkwardness. You two have not much to talk about at all. It will be weird at times because there is no connection besides the intimate one. Love will just come naturally, and lust doesn’t turn out like that usually!
5. Future life
Being in love shows you the future. Not literally, but you can imagine it. When you are in love, you imagine a life beyond the one you have now. You could start thinking about having a family or building a house together, starting a business, etc. If you were in lust, those things wouldn’t come up. It would be strictly about the attraction and sex part. There would be no “thinking” about the future in that way if it were to be lust.
6. Meeting their favorite people
Are you willing to meet the parents, or how about their besties? If it sounds like a scary thought, you’re probably not ready to meet the parents or friends yet. Or EVER. When you are in love, you want to meet those people closest to them. Those are the people who mean the most to them. They are the people that they go to when things get tough and need an extra opinion. They are the ones that were there for them from day 1!
Not wanting to meet them just means you aren’t ready at the moment. Everyone is at a different stage of a relationship with their “special someone”. It could be more of a lust relationship where the two of you both know that this is nothing more than some fun. Or this could be the start of you falling in love with someone, but you just aren’t ready to meet the parents at this time. Don’t take this one too seriously, because it’s a major step in anyone’s relationship.
Love takes time. The reason lust may seem like love, is because it’s an exciting feeling to meet someone new, who is extremely good looking and it seems as if the attraction is undeniable. It makes us think we are in love when in reality it could be just pure lust. Love is when you get to know someone long enough to come to the conclusion that they are amazing in every way to you. You love who they are, how they present themselves, their quirks, their negatives. You get them and they get you.
This one may seem silly, but it’s important. Think about the way you dress. Do you try to make yourself look extra good every time you see this special person? It sounds like your in lust still. The reason being is that when you’re in love, you moved past looking good all the time phase. You will throw on the sweat pants, take off the makeup, and just be you. I’m not saying that you won’t dress up here there, but you don’t work as hard to look your best for them every waking hour.
You will notice that your challenges will be different when you are in lust compared to when you are in love. When you are in lust, you don’t say what’s really on your mind when something bugs you. You may let it go, or let it build before leaving. Now if you are in love, you are going to say what bugs you. Flat out, the words will come out like never before at times. The real conversations start to happen when you are in love, not the fake ones.
10. Couple things
If love is in the air, you can bet your activities will sound more like couple activities rather than just sex activities. You two will start carving pumpkins during Halloween, or apple picking, going on double dates, or pretty much-doing anything with each other just to spend time TOGETHER.
You start thinking about them when you aren’t together and there’s a feeling of wanting to make more time for them. That’s when you know you are in love. There’s not a day that goes by that you don’t want to spend with them!