Tinder …we hate to love it. On a campus of 15,000 students, you’d think there would be quite a diverse selection of profiles to swipe through…however; there are some reappearing characters that deserve some recognition.
I thought Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox were the only people that interacted with Transformers, but apparently anyone on Tinder has this opportunity as well. I’d like to know more about you than your car’s make and model…I mean, I can’t even tell how good your sound system is if you’re only showing me the outside.
If you’re trying to imply that you’re a “good catch”, the picture of you holding a very large fish is not the best way to go about it. I’m SHORE you think this is impressive, but I’ll SEA you later, because I’m DOLPHINATELY swiping left.
Having a way with words is an attractive quality for sure, but if your Tinder bio is longer and more in depth than anything I’ve ever had to read for class, I’m swiping left.
The Normal Guy
This is one of the only Tinder profiles that you would potentially swipe right on. He’s cute, seems to have a social life, probably has a picture of himself with a child or a dog, and has a perfectly vague and alluring bio. You can picture this person actually fitting normally into your life, but then it hits you…You’d have to explain to everyone that you met on Tinder, or make up an elaborate excuse to trick your friends and family. Ultimately, you swipe right and half fear/half hope that you match. When the screen changes and announces “It’s a match!, you opt to “keep playing”, because you really don’t want to explain to your kids that you met on Tinder.
This guy could be cute but honestly you’re not sure because he only has pictures of himself in groups. Some guys will throw you a hint in their bios, smoothly stating “on the left”, and to you we say “Thank you”. To everyone else we say, “who are you?”
“U up?” Guy
Maybe it’s just me but the likelihood of me being awake at 2:30 in the morning is slim to none…and the likelihood of me answering a message that just says “u up?” is even lower. I don’t know where the disconnect is between you thinking this is charming and me thinking this is utterly ridiculous, but it’s very, painfully evident.
Now I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being a freshman, we’ve all been there. I’m just saying that nothing screams “freshman” quite like exclusively having pictures of yourself at your high school graduation and senior prom. And yeah, you paid a lot of money for your highly posed and professionally edited senior pictures, but Tinder is not the place to show them off.
The Guy You Know
This ones interesting. Whether it’s a friend, a classmate, or the kid across the hall, you’ve seen this guy before. The curiosity kills… Did he swipe right? Is it gonna be awkward if you match and then see him in the dining hall? He knows better than to bring it up publically that you matched on Tinder, right? No one wants anyone to know they’re on Tinder, yet everyone is on Tinder.
The Selfie Guy
The only thing worse than mirror selfies are shirtless mirror selfies.
Tinder is like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re going to get. Sometimes it’s pretty good, but other times you can’t rid of it fast enough. Happy swiping!
Did you enjoy reading about the different types of guys you find on tinder? Any other types you can think of? Comment below and share with your friends!
Featured Image Source: slism.com, spireand.co
Allison is a writer for the UNH chapter of Society19. She is currently studying Occupational Therapy and minoring in Psychology. She's a college student with an elementary school bedtime.