After spending a little over a semester here at the University of Michigan, I have seen and gone through a lot. College is like nothing I’ve ever experienced, there are so many new and interesting things that happen to you at the University of Michigan. The independence that comes with being in charge of my own life is extremely satisfying, but can be scary because this is a whole new and unknown world. However, with all the unexpected things that happen during your freshmen year, here are some things everyone can relate to. After EXTENSIVE research (aka reading over my GroupMe chats), here are 10 things that I can assure you will 100% happen to you here.
Although Tuesday nights out are always the move, having make-up down your face and still being in your clothes from the night before is a gross feeling. Chug a bottle of water, send a Snapchat to your friends with the caption “I feel like death,” and get your ass to class in your grossest ensemble while reading over the group chat from the night before.
The staff WILL know you and laugh at you every time you walk in and order the same thing. The worst is when you go after a tailgate/darty and then go back the next day and that elephant in the room is so big but no one says anything. (Shout out Oasis!!!; love you people)
Everyone loves watching Tasty videos on Facebook. Don’t lie. However, having your entire 300-person lecture look at you when your phone starts blaring the lovely tunes that Tasty adds to their videos is not great – especially when you get as red as I do when you’re embarrassed, making it very obvious where the noise is coming from. Having your professor call you out for it is not very fun either.
When you have 20 minutes before class to eat a quick bite, you really do not want to talk. Pressures on; the clock is ticking. However, there is always that one bizarre kid who will take the seat across from you when there are 700 empty seats, and start asking you questions and making conversation. Whether you respond with one word or engage them, they aren’t going to leave you alone until they are done eating.
After it stops snowing and the salt is put down by the lovely maintenance staff, there are still a few black ice spots that you won’t see coming. Not even your Sorrels can save you from them. Take the L, embrace your inner Jennifer Lawrence, and move away as fast as possible before people realize it was you.
With all the hype that surrounds parents weekend, the tidiness of your room is the last thing on your mind. However, beware that your neurotic mother will walk into your room, point out every disgusting thing she sees, and go into monster cleaning mode. Honestly, it is beneficial because realistically you won’t clean it.
Once you are in a sorority, your sorority will make GroupMe chats with every frat you mix with. While this is great for communication, it is also a means for disaster. If you don’t pay attention to where you are writing, or your finger slips, you can end up sharing something you were not planning on sharing with a bunch of very cute boys. Hopefully, although your friends will see it and make fun of you, you can laugh it off.
In this case when I say vendors, I mean boys and friends. The great thing about college is that you have numerous closets that you can choose from to find the perfect outfit. On top of that, boys always have the comfiest, most warn in clothing, so c’mon, who wouldn’t steal that. However, if you are lazy like I am, the stuff you borrow/take will end up in a large pile on your floor. Not saying that I’m planning on returning any of it any time soon, just beware of the small pyramids that will begin to form.
While this may not sound funny, I have experienced some of the weirdest Uber rides in my entire life here at Michigan. My favorite had to be when my Uber driver asked if he could ask me a “feminine question” and then proceeded to tell me about the scavenger hunt date he planned for his girlfriend because she told him was is boring. However, they do make the ride more enjoyable when they start busting a move to their favorite song as you silently sit there on your phone making sure they are following the map.
It’s happened to everyone. There’s nothing you can really do about it except pray you unliked it fast enough that the notification will never appear on his phone. However, think positively – at least now they guy now knows you are interested!
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