During freshmen orientation, my class listened to tall tales passed down from upperclassmen about our school: don’t step on the block M; if you kiss someone under the engineering arch, you’re destined to get married; Jim Harbaugh is a god amongst mortals. However, I didn’t learn everything I needed to know during those few days. As a matter of fact, I didn’t learn everything I should’ve known till way after I’d packed up my dorm room. Here are 20 things no one tells you about freshman year at the University of Michigan.
There’s an entire city to explore, and it’s pretty darn close to campus. The sooner you venture off the Diag and start kickin’ around town, the happier you’ll be.
Everyone is jonesin’ for friends those first few weeks, and an open door is super inviting. However, close your door when you’re making popcorn, or you might be asked to share your midnight snack.
They have cars, connections for internships, and valuable insight on whose Econ 101 class you do NOT want to be stuck in.
I learned that, as long as you throw some cereal in the bowl to serve as the base of your ice cream concoction, you can totally call it breakfast.
Calories, I’ve learned, are tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes tighter while you sleep. I gained the Freshman-15 from hitting the soft-serve morning, noon, and night.
EatStreet and GrubHub serve basically every restaurant, so you don’t even need to leave your dorm room to experience the beauty that is eggplant parm at 1 AM.
The Walgreens on State looks like your one-stop shop for all food, drinks, and school supplies, but leech a ride from an upperclassman to Meijer to save major cash.
Two bucks is the difference between drinking something that basically tastes like nail polish remover, and something that the mixer can mask.
“Hey! Let’s go to Big Ten Burrito for lunch!” said no sober human, ever.
The difference between “I just failed my finance exam and I have no clean underwear” ramen, and “I’m having delicious noodle soup between my internships” ramen lies in that egg.
Every Tuesday. You’re welcome.
However, B-Dubs has fried pickles. This choice brings me more agony than I’d like to admit.
They all have difference delivery ranges. The one on Packard makes the best “Everything Crust” but the pineapples used at the Broadway Street location are the most delicious.
There’s something really quaint and nice about sharing a meal with your friends, while you’re all half-asleep and bitching about midterms.
I don’t care if they’re promising a free key chair or a planner. Park your butt in front of your computer and order your books off Amazon, and use the money you saved to by 100 key chains. Or something actually cool.
It makes people withhold their friendship.
There are few sights sadder than a kid navigating the Bursley dining hall the first day back from holiday break with a diet that can’t handle anything tougher than noodles because they got their wisdom teeth yanked a week after Christmas. Get them out early, spend your break recovering.
Forget buying a new pair of Tims or Doc Martens. Get yourself some sandals to protect your tootsies from the smallpox/bird flu/ dysentery that lurks on the bathroom floor.
You’ll be packing your stuff back into boxes, thinking, “Where’d this year even go….?” Have fun, don’t fail your classes, make connections, and eat $1 tacos every freakin’ Tuesday.
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