The 16 Hot Pocket Types And How Good They Actually Are

Hot Pockets; they mean different things to different people: late-night snack, quick breakfast or just gross. Chances are you’ve eaten one once before. There’s literally no chance you could get sick of these things since there are 16 different hot pocket types. To some that might seem a bit disgusting, even worrisome, but thankfully I’ve got the Hot Pocket 411.

Thanks to Thrillist foodie, Andy Kryza, who stocked his freezer with all 16 Hot Pocket flavors, we’ve got ourselves a pocket ranking. Next time you’re at the grocery store and are unsure of which ones to get, refer back to this Hot Pocket ranking. Starting with the best and working our way down to the worst, prep yourselves:

1. Cheddar Cheese Melt with Pretzel Bread.

2. Ham & Cheese with Crispy Buttery Seasoned Crust.

Not gonna lie, I’ve had this one and I despise it; probably because I hate ham. I can remember I was at my friend Brenna’s house in 6^th grade and that’s when I was first introduced to hot-pockets. Haven’t touched one since, so thankfully we’ve got Andy Kryza here to give us the low-down.

3. Pepperoni Pizza with Crispy Crust.

I could get down with this.

4. Philly Steak & Cheese with Seasoned Crust.

I could also get down with this.

5. Four Cheese Pizza with Garlic Buttery Seasoned Crust.

This is making me question if I should give Hot Pockets another go.

6. Chicken Bacon Cheddar Cheese Melt with Crispy Buttery Seasoned Crust.

Never mind, I retract my last statement.

7. Steak & Cheddar with Garlic Buttery Seasoned Crust.

Not feeling this one. Does that mean there are only four Hot Pockets I could get down with out of the 16?

8. Four Meat & Four Cheese Pizza with Garlic Buttery Seasoned Crust.

Why do all these have garlic buttery seasoned crust?

9. Chicken, Broccoli & Cheddar with Crispy Buttery Seasoned Crust.

I dunno, I think I could get down with this one. Is that gross?

10. Pepperoni Pizza with Garlic Buttery Seasoned Crust.

This is playing it safe, I can dig it.

11. Five Cheese Pizza with Crispy Crust.

Why are all the ones I’d definitely try on the bottom of his list?

See Also

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12. Pepperoni & Sausage Pizza with Garlic Buttery Seasoned Crust.

Okay, this one seems like it’s ranked properly.

13. Meatball and Mozzarella with Garlic Buttery Seasoned Crust.

How the fuck do you stuff a meatball into a Hot Pocket? Big no-no. I want the real deal.

14. Cheeseburger with Crispy Buttery Seasoned Crust.

No. Especially after reading that you can taste ketchup in is. No.

15. Beef Taco with Seasoned Crust.

Don’t ruin tacos for me, there’s a reason your are second to last on the list.

16. BBQ Recipe Beef with Crispy Buttery Seasoned Crust.

BBQ beef is a no-go for me. BBQ chicken, maybe.

There you have it Society19 babes; a complete ranking of Hot Pockets and all they have to offer. Which ones have you tried. Let us know in the comments below!

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