The Do’s and Dont’s of Dating your Coworker
Dating your coworker can be tricky, take it from a girl who has had two work relationships in two different jobs. And let me tell you they could not have been more different. One was amazing and one was, and continues to be, difficult. Here is everything you need to know if you are in or thinking about getting involved with someone you work with.
The inevitable truth about dating a coworker is that you will be seeing them frequently. For good or bad it is something you need to keep in mind. As long as you are working at the same place, you will have to frequently interact and see each other. Establishing a friendship before anything goes down is a good way to feel comfortable if things were to go south between the two of you. Knowing that at the end of the day you care for and know each other as friends is comforting.
Keep it Between You Two
At the start there is no need to bring other coworkers into it. Keep it to yourselves to avoid drama at work. At the end of the day you are here to make your money and any way to decrease stress while doing so is very important. The work relationship that worked was private for awhile until other people knew and got involved. Read the room too, if you work with a lot of people or a small amount of people is important. It worked with a small staff who were all pretty close with one another. When it did not work was when right off the bat people knew about us. People talk, and you do not know what has happened before you came into the picture and vise versa. Sometimes the worst feeling is everyone knowing and asking you about things you aren’t ready to talk about or do not want to talk about. So for the meantime, and until you are fully ready, do not involve others.
Pick Your Battles
If you are going to date your coworker you need to have patience and learn how to pick your battles. This is not like any regular relationship, you are expected to be around them in a professional setting along with a causal one. If you are not able to work in an environment where both can be accomplished, then something has got to go either the relationship or the job. To avoid having to choose one or the other, focus on how to best choose your battles. You are going to have to let little things go and focus on big picture what is important and what is needed. If you do not pick your battles, work can easily become filled with drama and uncomfortable.
Work is Work Home is Home
Work is work and home is home. Keep work stuff inside the walls of work and try your best to leave any drama that happens at home there too. The goal is to keep it professional when it should be and keep it more casual when it should be. There is a fine line that separates the two, but distinguishing them environments is key to successfully dating your coworker.
Work Feels Fun
A huge advantage to dating your coworker is the feeling of excitement that you have going to work each day. I think a lot of people are able to relate to the feeling of having a work crush or class crush where suddenly going to a place you have to go to is filled with fun rather than feeling like a chore. It will motivate you to do your best and look your best. Both of the work relationships that I have been in have made me a lot of money because work is a place I actually enjoy being at, therefore the more I am there the more money I make. It is a win win!
Work Becomes Everything
While working with your significant other, it is easy to fall into a hole where suddenly your job becomes your life. I has happened to me. You may find yourself only hanging out with work people, only talking about work things, or even spend more time where you work than anywhere else. It is very easy for this to happen because your person is there as well. If it is where you met, it may be the biggest thing you have in common with each other. And it also may bring the both of you a ton of joy. but my biggest advice is to just be conscious. Do not confine yourself anywhere, continue to explore and continue to branch out. And do this with your partner as a way of creating more memories outside of the work environment.
Schedules May Align Nicely
Another great part about dating your coworker is how your schedules may align nicely. This is a huge advantage for date nights and just making time to see each other in general. I live by the rule of date night once a week, and working together may allow you to have the same days off. If you are in a service industry job, you may also be able to visit each other at work if you do not have the same days off. And lastly, if there is ever a crisis and you need a shift covered you have an automatic Go To person to pick it up!
It is a Cute Story
At the end of the day I think that meeting your significant other at work is a cute story. It is a paradox as it makes something, work, so unromantic actually romantic. it is like the Rihanna song, We found love, literally in a hopeless place. At least that is how I feel when I think about the relationships that I have had that have started at work. It is cute! It is also a good reminder to always keep your eyes open because you never know where you will meet someone.
I am a 22 year old student at Depaul University living in the heart of Chicago