Categories: Sex

Sexy Roleplay Ideas You’ve Never Heard Of

You’ve never heard of these roleplay ideas because I’ve just made them up and I have a very creative mind. These ideas are very important and should be taken extremely seriously because they could mean the difference between lousy sex and your significant other dropping down and proposing to you. Everyone wants an orgasm and a giant ring. That’s just a fact of life. Do I know what I’m talking about when it comes to relationships? Absolutely not. Writing about dating and relationships makes me feel like Carrie Bradshaw, and I love sharing my unwanted opinion. That’s why I became a writer. I’ve never been in a relationship before, but I see lots of them fail around me, all of the time. It’s usually one of two things: bad communication, or letting the romance die. Luckily, with these creative roleplay ideas neither of these terrible things will happen to your relationship.

All of these roleplay scenes are good ideas because they encourage a power-sharing dynamic, instead of a typical dominant/submissive style relationship. Some people feel put off by sex because of the power imbalance, but this is a mutually beneficial experience for all of the parties involved. Also, the roles stated in this article do not conform to stereotypical gender roles. The aim of these roleplays are to create a safe and inclusive environment for everyone.

I think I deserve life in prison for this.

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Investment Advisor and Client

This roleplay is a great idea if you or your partner works in finance. This will strengthen your relationship because it demonstrates support of your partner’s interests, and paying attention. While performing the scene and other explicit acts, it is perfectly acceptable to check on your investments, and get advice about your stock portfolio. Set the mood by checking the stock ticker before taking off your clothes. You can use some real cheesy lines such as “drop it low like Dow Jones” or “I’d live to invest in YOUR assets!” Have someone bend over a desk looking for a calculator. Accuse each other of tax fraud and make sweet love. The financial world doesn’t have to be boring.

Bitter Divorce Attorneys

This is the ULTIMATE enemies-to-lovers scenario. Throw away your crappy Tiktok book recommendations and make the trope a reality. Picture this: two divorce attorneys are on opposite sides of a really shitty divorce, but are so incredibly down-bad for each other. The yearning. The pining. The angst. The “should we really be doing this?” and consequential “fuck it, we’re in love!” This roleplay is a good outlet for the stress of everyday life. Set the mood by studying jurisprudence and applying to law school together. Wear blazers and loafers when you make love. (The loafers stay ON during sex). Make sure to be nice to each other during the deed because some lawyers can get cynical during law school and during their careers. They’ve seen a lot. If your significant other is a lawyer, it might be a good idea to stay away from this roleplay. People roleplay to get AWAY from their lives, not to stay stuck within it.

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Salt and Pepper Shakers in Love

Best friends to lovers! Another young adult book trope special. Salt and pepper shakers are inanimate objects, but you can’t deny the chemistry between them. You never see salt without pepper. People going gray have “salt and pepper hair.” Salt-N-Pepa is a female rap group from New York City popular for their 1986 hit “Push It!” You never have salt without pepper. They are two halves of a whole, like a relationship. What I mean to say this that they are intertwined in an intimate way. You too can be intertwined in an intimate way with your partner! The roleplay here is that salt and pepper have been in love since they met, but stayed friends because they were worried that their feelings would ruin a great relationship. Lo and behold, those romantic feelings are not unrequited, and they get to lovingly explore each other’s bodies. They get to love them in the way that they’ve always wanted to, but have been afraid to do so. This is kind of like breaking down a mental block in your brain. Do what makes you feel right and do all of the things you’ve always wanted to. Chances are, if you’re in a healthy and symbiotic relationship, your partner will support you, or they might even want the same things themselves. This is also a great excuse to get freaky in the kitchen. Make sure the stove is turned off!

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Captain Ahab and Moby Dick

This one goes out to all the book lovers in the audience. You’re welcome.

You’ve read the story. They don’t call him Moby Dick for nothing (I’m only joking please don’t fire me). And Captain Ahab. That Quaker Shorty can sow these oats. Ahab could be a total dilf as well if you wanted him to be (he’s 58 in the book). And his nickname is quite literally “Old Thunder.” If your English teacher didn’t force you to analyze paragraphs of this novel I’ll fill you in. A bonkers-crazy boat captain chases around a whale who chomped off one of his legs to get revenge. If that isn’t passion and devotion towards your partner, I’m not really sure what is. Obviously, establish some boundaries before you do the deed, because Moby Dick ends up taking Captain Ahab’s other leg and breaks his boat too. Set the scene by going to the beach or trying to stab each other (sexily) with a harpoon (don’t actually do it though). I don’t know, I can’t tell you what to do. Y’all are freaks for reading this and I’m a freak for writing this. Ladies, gentlemen, theydies, and gentlethems, Moby Dick.

No matter what you do, make sure you are using protection, and consent is given from all participating parties. Have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!

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Kelly Stanton

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