They say that fashion is cyclical but if there’s one revival we’re dreading it’s the noughties. A decade of denim, fake tan, and chunky everything, our love of vintage and nostalgic fashion hits its limit here. But today, in the interest of self-reflection, we reluctantly look back at the worst trends that we can’t quite believe that we wore.
1. Low-rise jeans
If there’s one thing that separates a 2019 wardrobe from the collective fever dream that was noughties fashion, then it is the waistline. Nowadays, high-waisted jeans, skirts, and dresses are all the rage, and for good reason. Creating a flattering, hour-glass figure, it’s no wonder that we adopted them into our wardrobes after the travesty of the noughties jeans. Dubbed ‘bumsters’ (no points for guessing why), these jeans were ideal for anyone wishing to show off as much of their torso as possible. Belly buttons were definitely in.
Hats in themselves are nothing to worry about – right now, we’re absolutely in love with over-sized sun hats – but of course, as with everything, the noughties managed to ruin them. We can get on board with Love Actually style, baker boy hats maybe even trucker caps but, for the love of god, did they have to bring out the fedoras? Something about this style just screams school disco chic and we are not here for it.
We love eyebrows. Whether we leave them natural or sculpt them to a tee, bold brows are definitely still in. Sadly though, in the noughties, eyebrows were under attack. Plucked to the point where they might as well not have existed, thin brows were definitely the way to go. Sadly, the consequences of this awful trend are felt even to this day with our brows never growing back all the way. A moment of silence please for our loss.
4. Jeans under skirts
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it’s time to bring out the absolute worst trend to grace the red carpet. Jeans under skirts. Apparently, back then, we were all super indecisive and couldn’t quite choose between our love of denim and love of skirts. Unfortunately, this resulted in the combination that you see before you now.
5. Chunky highlights
It wasn’t just clothes that fell victim to the curse of noughties fashion, so too did our hair. For some reason we all decided that the zebra look was the way to go, dyeing our hair with chunky highlights. Sure, they kind of looked cool on Lindsay Lohan in Freaky Friday, but the style has now come to be associated with the kind middle-aged mums who can often be found complaining to customer services.
Vests were another strange trend that thankfully didn’t make it out of the noughties. Worn over dresses, t-shirts or even on their own, no outfit was complete unless you’d thrown one on. Luckily now, we’ve found the sense to ditch them and can only pray that they stay in the early 2000s where they belong.
7. Ugg boots
This one isn’t too bad and we all have a special place in our hearts for the beloved ugg boots. The perfect way to get the look of your favourite celeb (even Queen Bey was wearing them) everyone was after a Uggs and you’d spend ages begging your mum to shell out for a pair for your birthday. However, if we’re honest with ourselves, they were a bit of a mess. You’d only have worn them a few times before they went wonky and crunched down at the sides and they definitely got a bit scruffy after the first time you wore then in the rain. All in all, we’re glad to leave them in the past as a piece of regrettable yet fondly-remembered nostalgia.
8. Velour tracksuits
An icon of noughties fashion, the velour tracksuit was worn by everyone. From your favourite celebrities to your I’m-not-like-a-regular-mum-I’m-a-cool-mum parents, everybody owned one. Now they threaten to come back in style, with the likes of Kim Kardashian heading out in the trend. With great influence comes great responsibility, and we can’t believe that he would do this to us.