A BAD Mushroom Trip

I was introduced to “magic mushrooms” when I was 18. It was always the same destination, same group of friends, but always a different trip. I would go to a laser light show at a planetarium. They would have different shows every hour. They would have music shows with music from Led Zeppelin, Bob Marley, The Beatles, it was all about the classics. I’m never going to forget my worst trip though. It was the one day that I didn’t go to the show, because it was sold out. My friends couldn’t have anyone over so we all went home. I was already upset, I was using drugs as a way to suppress my feelings about a breakup I was going through with the guy I lost my virginity with. At that time, Myspace was the big hype. I had made friends with a guy named, Anthony. We had only talked through the message board and didn’t really know much about him, other than that he was a cool guy to talk to with dreads. That night when I got home, I started getting ready to go to “sleep”. Once I sat on my bed, I felt a huge wave of depression hit me. I burst out in tears and I couldn’t stop. That’s when the trip took a turn for the worst. I started seeing lights, kind of how when you rub your eyes for a long time. I was scared; I had no control over my body. For the first time, I couldn’t get out of my mind. I was stuck in this loop hole of negative thoughts and blame. In that moment, Anthony called me. This was the first time I had ever heard his voice, I was confused. He said, “Hey, are you okay?” and I couldn’t help, but to tell him, “how did you know I wasn’t?” He replied by telling me that he had a feeling. He needed to call me, even if it was weird. I told him I would be okay; at least I was at home in a safe place. I couldn’t believe that a stranger called me to console me. It was as if the universe sent him to heal me, but it didn’t work. After I hung up, I built up a lot of anxiety. I couldn’t move, but I knew if I were to start moving I would wake my parents up. So, I started stretching. My body felt like it was being pulled by a pasta maker. I was Jell-O. The floor felt like it was a plate of cold glass. I decided to meditate. I figured that the only way I would be better is by having control over my mind, even if I had lost it. So I sat up straight. The floor was still cold, but I knew it was my carpet. I looked at my door; it had a shoe holder on it. I couldn’t see it and the more I tried to look at it, it would produce an unidentifiable figure. I crawled closer and I saw Buddha. The last thing I remember of that night was a gold light beaming to me and knocking me out. I woke up more confused than I have ever been in my life. I was believed to be healed by Buddha. I cried for what felt like a few minutes, but was actually six hours. I never heard from Anthony again. I never went back to the planetarium again. In fact, I didn’t talk to those friends ever again. I did shrooms two more times after that and that bad mushroom trop helped me realize that I don’t need drugs to tell me how I feel. I gained control over my body and mind.