While you’re in a relationship it’s easy to get blinded by love. While we’re not perfect, we can do better by setting boundaries and learning what is healthy versus what is unhealthy. You may not even know you’re in a toxic relationship but here are seven signs of one!
Lack Of Trust
The first sign of a toxic relationship is a lack of trust. Trust issues are a common thing a lot of people deal with. Wether it be from a past relationship or issues with friends. Some people don’t even have a past with trust issues. Trust issues can come from anything really, a big thing that brings issues with trust now a days is social media. Sadly cheating has become way more common, and a lot of people expose their partners online, which others see and get in their heads about there own relationship.
However, some people create their own trust issues for example being insecure of having a lack of confidence can lead to it. If you don’t believe you attractive, you will instill worries that your partner will leave you for someone better looking. To some extent, we all have trust issues, and it’s understandable, however too much of it is unhealthy.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a partner who has trust issues… be careful. Like I said, we all have some type of trust issues, but it can become toxic very quickly without you realizing. You might find yourself in situations where your partner questions everything you do. For example, a night out with the girls becomes you focusing on answering thousands of texts minute by minute to calm their nerves.
You might wonder why making your partner feel more comfortable when their stressed like this is an issue. Yes, of course you want to make sure your partner feels secure, but if this is constant then it’s taking away from your night out and you won’t enjoy yourself. If you’ve done nothing to loose their trust it’s not your responsibility to fix it.
When you’re in a relationship, it’s supposed to be 50/50, not 100/0. Yes you might have found your person, but you are still your own person. You decide where you want to go, what you want to eat, or what you want to wear. Or do you? Is your partner making these decision for you without you realizing?
You might stop wearing certain clothes because your partner doesn’t like you wearing it. You might be going to the gym because your partner made a comment about you needing to loose weight. It might be hard to spot but these are controlling actions. Your partner, just like you, is their own person. They are in control on themselves, and nobody else, not even you.
When you’re dating someone, you’re most likely to spend more time with them than others. So bickering is something that is bound to happen. Take your family for example, when you’re around someone almost 24/7 of course you’re going to fight. No relationship is perfect, and if it seems like that… they’re lying to you.
No one likes fighting of course, but it’s normal. However, too much fighting is a big red flag and a sign of a toxic relationship. If you find your partner constantly picking fights out of every little thing…run. No, seriously. If not controlled, little arguments can lead to big ones and big ones can lead to physical ones. And you might end up finding yourself in an abusive relationship.
I know it seems far fetched but it’s true. An abusive relationships don’t always start off with laying hands on each other and screaming at each other. Most start verbally such as this constant fighting.
Breaking Up Is A Constant Solution
Going off of fighting, do you find your solution to these fights breaking up? If so…that’s a toxic relationship. Breaking up is something you should dread bringing up to your partner and hoping to never talk about. If you find your relationship threatening this over and over, you have both become desensitized to something so serious. There’s more than likely a better solution to your arguments than breaking up over and over.
By knowing that it is so easy for your partner to leave you this can ultimately cause abandonment/trust issues. And do you really think the relationship is going to last with these issues. When you love someone you should never want to leave them, and if they’re doing this to you…leave them.
Jealousy is only human nature. It’s totally normal to get a little bit jealous when you see your partner interacting with someone of the opposite sex. They’re your person and you want to keep it that way. A lot of people actually like it when their partner is a little jealous, it’s a type of reassurance that your partner likes you and wants you to themselves.
But as we all know a too much of a good thing is bad. Extreme jealousy is a sign of a toxic relationship, and can look similar to a lack of trust, actually that’s what usually starts it. Your partner may see you interacting with someone, or getting attention from somebody and instead of getting a little jealous, they get angry. Extreme jealousy can lead to your partner wanting to fight somebody in order to keep what’s theirs.
It might feel nice to be wanted and feel cared for. But not to the extent of someone else’s safety. You will find yourself constantly reassuring your partner and trying to stop altercations. And I think me and you can both admit, that doesn’t sound healthy.
Patterns Of Dishonesty
“In a relationship communication is everything” I’m sure you’ve heard this before, and it’s true. Communication with your partner avoids fights and any type of miscommunication. But your communication needs to be honest.
It’s close to impossible not to lie once in a while, whether it’s intentional or unintentional. However, if you catch your partner constantly lying to you, it is going to break trust within your relationship which is only going to cause more issues. A pattern of constant dishonesty is a big sign of a toxic relationship.
The more lies you let your partner get away with the bigger and more serious the lies will become. It may start with a small lie about what time they went to bed, but if you continue to let them off with lying to you, these small lies can turn into lying about talking to someone behind your back. And honestly if you continue to let this happen to you, it’ makes you look like a fool.
Any type Of Manipulation- Punishment For Your Actions
This one is harder to spot, “love is blind” is a phrase for a reason. When you’re in love you are blind to a lot of things, manipulation being one of them. Your partner may start to blame you for every little thing or say that everything is your fault. And since your in love you believe they love you so of course you trust what they’re saying, and want to make them happy. This may cause to feel guilty and find yourself constantly apologizing and begging for acceptance from your partner.
I’m here to tell you they are lying to you. Not everything is your fault. This is manipulation, and one of the biggest signs of a toxic relationship.
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Caitlyn is an aspiring writer, currently majoring in Communications with a concentration in Journalism.