The 10 Golden Rules of Dorm Sex

Going to college can be one of the most exciting parts of your life. You’re ready to leave home and experience new things – curiosity completely taking over you. Depending on your college, and more specifically, your dorm; you will likely be living around students of the opposite sex. And as a college student, chances are you will want to celebrate your newly found freedom with activities like drinking, partying, and hooking up – so it’s no surprise that dorm sex happens. Sex can be awkward enough in itself, but it can be ten times more cringe-worthy when it takes place in a privacy-lacking dorm room. So in order to prevent any embarrassing situations, I will provide 10 golden rules of having dorm sex.

1. Communication is everything

COMMUNICATE. It’s so easy to just read this and nod your head, but not actually follow through. Most college students live in a double or triple their first year, so you need to remember it is not just your room. Your roommates might want to be in the comfort of this shared room after a long day of classes or extracurricular activities. If you’re going to come back to your room with someone for “alone time,” let your roommates know, by text or in person, before they walk in on something they probably don’t want to see.

2. Try to keep quiet

The amenities in a dorm room are not going to be top notch, so beds and mattresses are probably going to be squeaky. That does not mean you can just add more noise for others to hear. Leave the screaming and excessive moaning for the porn industry. Otherwise, things might turn a little uncomfortable next time you pass by a floor mate at the end of the hall.

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3. Develop a dorm sex code

Some colleges will have dry erase boards on each of the dorm rooms’ doors. Make use of these to let roommates know what’s going on around a specific time – code words work best so the you don’t allow the entire floor to know your business. You can even put a sock or personalized “do not disturb” sign on the doorknob.

4. Don’t sexile your roommate

Nobody likes being sexiled. In fact, quite a few students who talk negatively about their roommate usually start with, “this one time I got sexiled…” There’s a time and place for everything. Monday night at 10 pm is not a good time to have sex with someone if it means kicking your roommate to the curb. Have some respect for your roomies and their weekday needs.

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5. Avoid sexy-time while your roommate sleeps

This is never okay. You might think your roommate is sleeping, but sex is never silent, and I guarantee you that your roommate will wake up while you are in the moment. This will cause stress on your relationship with your roommate and might result in him/her leaving for good.

6. Switch up rooms

Consider switching between you and your partner’s room to have dorm sex. This way, your room won’t always be occupied, but you also won’t have to always be the one to face the dreaded walk of shame. It works out for both you and your roommates.

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7. Do not always stay over

I can pretty much guarantee that your roommate will start to get annoyed if your boyfriend or hookup is constantly staying over. Consider their feelings and realize that they would probably like some time every now and then to have their dorm room uninterrupted by outsiders. PS – those twin beds are much more comfortable with one person in them anyways.

8. Resist crossing boundaries

Depending on the relationship you develop with your roomie, often times students become so close that they begin to borrow each other’s belongings. This does not mean you can have sex on their bed, desk or on anything that isn’t yours…unless they give you permission to (which I highly doubt would happen). It might be funny in the moment, but think about how you would feel if your roommate did it to you.

9. Be courteous of neighbors/suitemates

It’s a college dormitory, not a luxurious palace. The walls in between rooms can be paper thin, making it easy to disturb your neighbors. It might be hard to keep it silent, but that doesn’t mean the whole building should know what you are up to. This goes for before and after you have sex, too. If you’re sneaking in for a late night booty call, make sure you don’t slam any doors or exclaim your arrival for all to hear.

10. Examine the free condoms

College is expensive, but thankfully schools host different events that include FREE stuff. Health centers, and sometimes RAs, even provide free condoms to students. Unfortunately, not everything free is going to be high quality. Make sure the condoms you obtain are okay to use. You don’t want any pregnancy scares.

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