What Should I Do If My Boyfriend Wants To Have A Threesome?


So, your boyfriend came out of left field and asked you if you want to have a threesome. You’re probably asking yourself, “What does it mean if my boyfriend wants to have a threesome? Should I have a threesome? WHAT DO I DO?!!!!”.¬†Just relax. Whether you’ve been with your boyfriend for a long time or this is a new relationship, this convo is bound to pop up. This is how you should handle the situation when he asks.

What Should I Do If My Boyfriend Wants To Have A Threesome?

1. Don’t freak out

Just because your boyfriend says he wants to have a threesome doesn’t mean he has thoughts of cheating on you. It’s a fantasy that many people (both men and women) have. Stay calm and don’t freak out on him for being open. Step back and actually think about it.

2. Figure out where you stand on threesomes

Have you thought about it? Could you see yourself having one with your boyfriend?

3. Think long and hard about how it will effect your relationship

This is the most important part of having a threesome. You need to both discuss how it will make you feel. If you’re already sick to your stomach at the thought of another man or woman touching your boyfriend, then don’t do it. It will literally destroy your relationship. But, if you can see it being really fun and something that you would find hot, then by all means go for it!

4. Know that saying no is completely ok

If you are’t comfortable with it, your boyfriend isn’t going to hate you for saying no. He truthfully expects you to say no. So, don’t be hard on yourself for wanting your man for you and only you.

5. If you’re down, set boundaries

When going into the threesome, you need to set some serious ground rules. Decide ahead of time what you both are comfortable with and what you aren’t. This is crucial to making it an enjoyable experience.

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6. Decide who will be the third person

When picking a third person to be involved, try not to make it anyone you see often or are close with. Every time you see this person, you’ll think back to the time where you had a threesome and if it goes bad, you don’t want to have to deal with that. It’s also a private sexual experience that should be kept between everyone involved. You could always go to Tinder for some options.

7. Go through exactly what will happen

Like setting rules, you need to play out how it will go down. This will help to make things go a lot smoother.

8. Have the third person leave

After you guys have a threesome, don’t let that third person hang around. You need to be alone with your bf to unwind and let it set in.

9. Discuss the threesome

Lay in bed and cuddle with your bf as you normally would. Discuss how the threesome was, if you liked or hated it, if you’d be willing to do it again, etc. It’s important to not hold anything back. If you hated it and feel uncomfortable, share that with your bf. Don’t keep anything to yourself or else you’ll end up feeling shitty and possibly cause tension in your relationship.

10. It’s your turn

If this threesome was your bf’s fantasy, don’t be afraid to ask for yours to be played out. This is something to discuss before you have a threesome. If he wants girl-on-girl, you should be able to have guy-on-guy. If he isn’t willing to do that, he’s clearly selfish and unwilling to fulfill your desires. That’s something to definitely think about when going into the threesome.

What Should I Do If My Boyfriend Wants To Have A Threesome?

Do you have any other advice for anyone who has a boyfriend who wants to have a threesome!? Share in the comments below!

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Kassandra Ryback

Emerson College Grad with a B.S. in Multimedia Journalism. I have a slight pizza addiction, I'm obsessed with shoes, and enjoy long walks on the beach. Mama to the cutest boy on earth.

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