One of the biggest pressures in life, no matter what we do or where we go is being in relationships, particularly romantic ones. Throughout time, its been a societal norm to find a partner, to raise children and live out the rest of your days with them. You may know people who are already married, people who are in and out of relationships. But when we’re single, there is always some sort of pressure to be with someone. But you know what… its okay to be single. Its okay to be single at university, during early adulthood, at any time.
We read so many books and watch so many films that suggest that the love of our lives is at school or university, but it is not always the case. The medias never really show that its okay to be single at university or any situation. Being in a relationship is considered the bigger goal. Yet, we are not told that relationships are a lot of hard work.
University is a great place to meet people but its also a great place to find yourself. You are away from home for the very first time. Yes, it’s a time to meet new people but, its also a time to learn. To figure out what to do in life. To gain new experiences. A lot of the time at university will be either preparing for assignments or attending lectures. But it’s okay to wait. You can meet many people at university, but that doesn’t mean you have to find your soulmate here. Everything has its time and place and that’s different for everyone.
For a long time, during my adolescence, a lot of my friends always had boyfriends. As someone who didn’t have one, I always felt very left out and isolated. I had feelings for the occasional guy, but I didn’t feel ready to take that step. I’ve tried dating when I was older, but I always had horrible experiences of them, so I stopped.
The key thing about dating someone is going out with someone you like to get to know them. In honesty, I didn’t feel that way. Dating at the time felt forced because it felt like there was always someone pushing me. So, I stayed single at university. I wasn’t ready for a relationship. Instead, I focused on my studies, trying to be kind to myself and figure out what I wanted to do.
It doesn’t matter if you feel ready at the age of forty, if it’s what you want to do. Just because you’re the only one in your group of friends who is single at university doesn’t mean you have to force yourself into a relationship.
We can be pushed into relationships but the person you must spend time with more than anyone is yourself. We are always pushed into being round people, but we are never told that its important to spend time and accept yourself. If you love yourself, you learn how to love and give that love to others.
No matter what you want to do or how you feel. Accept and love yourself. Be kind and be healthy. Learn to say no. These will all in turn help for when you’re in any relationship. Do what makes you feel good, whether its being in a relationship or not and remember.
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