You have been in a relationship with your partner for a little while now, everyone is telling you the honeymoon period will end soon but you find that hard to believe. You are the happiest you’ve ever been and can imagine yourself growing old and wrinkly with your other half-there is only one problem…you can’t seem to shrug off the green-eyed monster who is sitting on your shoulder and clouding your thoughts. By green-eyed monster I mean jealousy. Don’t get me wrong, a little bit of jealousy is natural in a relationship, healthy even as it proves how much you love your partner and the depth of your feelings. However, jealousy can also poison a relationship and lead to a break up if you allow it to consume you. In order to prevent this, below is a list of ways of how to stop feeling jealous in a perfectly good relationship.
Many people try to deny that they are jealous or are unconscious of how obvious their jealousy is to others, even if they do not vocalise their feelings and insecurities out loud. The first stage to stop feeling jealous in a perfectly healthy relationship is to acknowledge the fact you feel jealous and to work out the triggers for your jealousy. Ask yourself questions such as why do I feel jealous? Do I get jealous when my partner goes out without me? Am I jealous of my partner having friends of the opposite sex?
I can say to you ‘stop being jealous’ but we both know that it isn’t as easy as that (we are more likely to see pigs fly). In order to stop feeling jealous, you need to want to stop being jealous and want to work out ways to minimise and eventually banish these toxic feelings altogether. It has to start with you and you alone.
The human imagination is amazing, our ability to remember things and to soak up new knowledge is remarkable. However, our mind can also be very deceptive and play tricks on us. Another necessary stage of how to overcome jealously in a perfectly happy relationship is to work out whether your feelings of jealously are validated by any physical actions or whether they are caused by your own insecurities and fears that exist within your own mind.
Leading on from the above point, communication and honesty is key to creating a stable foundation in a relationship that is built on mutual trust. You should be able to talk to your partner about anything. Admit to your partner that you feel jealous and the reasons why you feel jealous. Your partner might be able to stop doing certain things to decrease your jealousy such as reassuring you that there is no need to feel this way and of the depth of his/her feelings. The worst thing you can do is bottle things up and allow your jealousy to smother you. Also let your partner know that you are trying to work on your feelings and that you don’t like to feel this way (no one wants a psycho partner). Communication is key in how to stop feeling jealous.
Social media can be very dangerous and have a detrimental impact on our mental health. People only post photos of the highs of their lives and never the lows; hashtags and comments such as ‘couple goals’ are not transferable to real life – for all you know a couple could have been arguing five minutes before their latest mushy kissing post. A picture is only a snapshot; it doesn’t tell the full story so don’t let it fool you. Also try not to compare your relationship to what you see on social media, or to your friends’ relationships, every relationship is different and unique and that is what is so beautiful about love! This is one of the most important ways you should learn how to stop feeling jealous.
When you are jealous in a relationship, you spend too much time thinking about other people and worrying about their actions and how that might reflect on your relationship. Stop this. The key to stop feeling jealous in a perfectly good relationship is to focus on your relationship solely; be self-assured by how much your partner loves you and remember this every time you feel the jealousy rising in you. Make a list of all the good things about your relationship and all the lovely gestures your partner does just for your benefit. As well as focusing on the love in your relationship, focus on self-love too. Often jealousy in a healthy relationship stems from your own insecurities so focus on boosting your self-confidence to become a stronger person. Do the things that make you feel great such as a pamper day, or write down a list of everything you love about yourself- this isn’t egotistical, it is a necessary step to help you realise how amazing you are and to help you to determine your own self value.
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