B Movies to Watch Based On Your Zodiac Sign
Low-budget B movies are a staple of the cinema industry, usually because of their ridiculous plot lines, cheap effects, and overacting. But sometimes you find a jewel among coal and it becomes your new favorite film, the one you make all your friends watch during Friday movie nights. But how do you find this shining beacon of cinematic artistry among the absolutely awful low-budget movies? Have new fear – we’ve taken some of the most popular B movies and paired them with the zodiac sign that fits them best. Easy peasy, no thought needed – just find your sign and get to watching!
1. Waiting – Libra
One of my favorite B movies of all time, Waiting is an early Ryan Reynolds flick about what happens behind the scenes of a chain restaurant. It is incredibly funny, with an absolutely brilliant cast portraying some of the most relatable interactions between waiters and customers. It’s the perfect movie for the easy-going, sociable Libras. I know you all go to comedy films as your first choice, and watching the relationships and personal conversations between the staff of the restaurant will remind you of all your favorite coworkers and the wild stuff that goes down when you’re together at work.
2. The Creature from the Black Lagoon – Aquarius
For all my quirky, out-of-this-world Aquariuses, there are no better B movies out there for you than The Creature from the Black Lagoon. This movie will fulfill all your secret sci-fi needs, and the 1950s costuming will be just ridiculous enough for you to fall in love with it. There’s just something about early science fiction novels that give me Aquarius vibes – maybe it’s the originality of the ideas. Or maybe it’s the absurdity of the film as a whole. Also, I stand by my assessment that young Aquariuses read the “Teacher from the Black Lagoon” series growing up, so you know this movie is perfect.
3. Sharknado – Virgo
This is probably one of the most well-known of the B-movies on this list, and that’s why it’s perfect for all my Virgo babes. Virgos are notorious for being behind on what’s new in movies and music – they are constantly having to catch up on all their friends’ references and suggestions. Seeing as how Sharknado is one of the two biggest meme movies on this list, it’s an absolute must that Virgos looking to watch more B movies check out this one. And yes, it is as absurd as it sounds. It is entirely illogical and unpractical, and it will be the exact opposite of what a Virgo usually likes. Time to swim new waters, Virgos, and catch up on your B movies.
4. The Vampire Lovers – Gemini
To my Gemini goddesses looking for new B movies, let me present to you The Vampire Lovers. This is an off-the-beaten-track horror film in that classic 70s style. If you don’t like scary movies, have no fear – this film is such a boost of woman power that you’ll be able to see past the horror genre into the beauty of a group of seductive vampiresses searching for rich victims. My Gemini queens are some of the most intellectual, witty, and strong boss babes I’ve ever met, so I know you’ll appreciate seeing characters like yourselves in your B movies.
5. Piranha – Leo
Another one of the most popular B movies around, Piranha (1978) is perfect for Leos for two reasons. One, Leos are some of the strongest, toughest people I’ve met, so I know you’ll want to show off that strength by surviving a “scary” horror film. Watch as all your friends get scared and hide behind their hands – not Leos though. Leos love to show off how tough they are. Second, Leos are classics – they love the old, the vintage. They’ve got their hands in anything at least 30 years older than they are. Piranha is just that – a 70s classic horror film. So don’t scream…just watch!
6. Alone in the Dark – Taurus
For all my lovely Tauruses looking for B movies to watch, it’s time to resonate with the adventurer side of yourself and check out Alone in the Dark. This 2005 low-budget action film is perfect for Tauruses because, while there’s definitely a plot line, at its heart, it’s a stereotypical action film. I’ve never met a Taurus that wasn’t in love with Indian Jones, so this supernatural, detective, action film will be just heroic enough to fulfill all your action desires, while just bad enough that it’ll definitely make you laugh. A win-win either way.
7. The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms – Aries
My energetic Aries, do I have the most classic of the B movies for you: The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms is the original, low-budget Godzilla. This is great for an Aries because not only are you adventurers who love action films, you’re also in love with that classic monster-style movie. Don’t try to lie to me – I know you’ve seen every Godzilla and King Kong movie at least 3 times each. The utter destruction that comes from a monster movie is perfect for the chaos of an Aries, and this movie will get you pumped and ready to demolish cities (please don’t do that though).
8. Dark & Stormy Night – Capricorn
My favorite analytical Capricorns, I can think of no other B movies for you than Dark & Stormy Night. This film takes on that old-timey mystery movie style but actually came out in 2009. It’s a play on the “Clue” genre of mystery movies, so it’ll fulfill all your detective, problem-solving needs (you little Sherlocks). But it’s also genuinely a pretty good movie, so you’ll not only enjoy solving the mystery and figuring out whodunnit, but it’ll also become one of your favorite movies. Tell me I’m wrong.
9. Killer Klowns from Outer Space – Pisces
Pisces, I know how you like to escape and daydream about traveling amongst the stars and down into the secret parts of the ocean, so I have the perfect out-of-this-world b movie for you: Killer Klowns from Outer Space. It’s just well-known enough that people will know what you’re talking about when you mention it, but just niche enough that it’ll be another absurd reference you’ll have under your belt. I mean it’s about killer aliens who look like clowns coming down from outer space. I can imagine no B movies topping that for a Pisces.
10. The Room – Cancer
Cancers, you hopeless romantics, you lover of drama – The Room is one of the best B movies for you. We all know what The Room is at this point – it’s become a meme, a James Franco movie, and a cult classic. But at its heart, it’s a badly done romance movie. This is exactly why you need to watch it – you’ll love the melodrama of it all, and you’ll sympathize with all the characters in ways the other zodiacs couldn’t. It’s the perfect movie for a Cancer and no one can convince me differently.
11. The Incredible Shrinking Man – Sagittarius
For my philosophical Sagittarius looking for B movies to watch that are both visually interesting and will test them mentally, The Incredible Shrinking Man is the best option for you. This 1967 low-budget movie is the peak of early sci-fi films – it’s incredibly innovative and well done for the time. As you follow Scott Carey’s journey to becoming the size of an insect and facing danger at every turn, you’ll also begin to consider the loneliness, isolation, and alienation Scott experiences during his experiences. Philosophical and visually stimulating? Perfect Sagittarius material.
12. Birdemic – Scorpio
For Scorpio hes, shes, and theys, I have one of the best (worst) B movies picked especially for you. This 2010 horror flick is great Scorpio movie material because it’s weird and off the wall, while still being exciting and awful in all the best ways. Plus, I know you all have an Alfred Hitchcock obsession, which means you’ve definitely watched his “The Birds.” Birdemic is essentially a complete low-budget rip-off of Hitchcock’s ’60s classic. Now that I’ve caught your attention, go watch Birdemic. It’s impossibly bad, but you’ll love it.
