If the hets can throw massive gender-reveal parties, then we can throw coming-out parties – right? I mean, we all need a little fun in our lives. As an LGBT person, we have so many opportunities to come out of the closet – they are literally never going to stop, ever. We come out to our family, our friends, our bosses, and all the people we meet along the way.
But rather than just “uh – I’m gay”, here are some ways to spice up that good ol’ tradition of coming out.
Or a post-birth gender-reveal party for yourself, if that fits your bill.
Invite your friends, your family – all the most important people in your life. Tell them it’s for a surprise announcement. Demand tributes (God knows they’ve probably put you through some shit, so you deserve this much at least).
Once everyone’s drunk and your uncle is requesting ‘Midnight Oil’ songs be blasted over the speaker, it’s time to cut the cake, smash the piñata, release the balloons – and inside of them, shove a shitload of glitter in whatever colours represent you.
Rainbow, pink-purple-blue – and accompany this with your declaration! Viva la fiesta!
I’m sure your parents may have been picking up hints through the years – like if all your other friends are LGBT, or you own a number of rainbow outfits.
Maybe it’s time to give them a few more hints to follow, by sending them on a scavenger hunt through meaningful moments in your life until they reach the final note – which can be your “I’m LGBT” reveal.
Not only will this remind them that you amount to more than just your sexuality, but who doesn’t love a scavenger hunt?
If you’re musically inclined, maybe this will have just the right amount of party for you! Also, if you’re sending someone to sing “Your kid is gay” to your parents, you don’t have to actually be there for it.
And honestly, if it’s time they knew but you don’t want to be there for the conversation, this might be a viable option for you.
Alright, this isn’t the most direct way to come out to anyone, but it is kinda funny. Sometimes, it’s nice to forget that parents and others who don’t know the whole truth exist. And sometimes, it leads to accidentally coming out via misplaced social media posts.
If you make your announcement on social media, it means people can approach you in their own time, when they’re ready. It also means you can go “I was hacked” if a negative reaction ensues.
Those Russian hackers have really got your back on this one.
Hanging a picture, and it’s not quite straight? Well, neither are you! Does your mum think the guy behind the deli counter is gay? You have something in common, then!
If you’re not a fan of the mushy-mushy, and you know for certain your parents aren’t homophobic – what could go wrong?
Not only is the song an absolute tune, it’s also rather appropriate, considering. You can take a note from Netflix’s ‘One Day At A Time’, when the song is blasted as openly-gay Elena makes her entrance as her quinces.
Party? Right?
Sometimes, it’s not that important – and not worth the loss of relationships or the endangerment of your own welfare.
While the other suggestions are fun and make light of coming out, the reality is much more uncomfortable. And I want to get real with you for a moment.
If you’re closeted, and especially if you’re young, this is a choice in your life that shouldn’t be made lightly. Your first time coming out is a step across a line. There is before, and there is after. You should not cross that threshold if you are not in the right position.
You must be emotionally ready for the potential fall-out. You should be as certain as possible that your parents are emotionally ready (feed them LGBT pamphlets or media, and you should be able to ease them into it).
You must be financially secure, or have a plan B if you rely on your parents financially, for food and housing.
Most importantly, you must be certain of your personal safety.
Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to come out to everyone in your life. But as you grow up, as you move out of home, as you make new friends, there will be people who come along who you will be able to open up to.
Your family can always be your family, but then are always their LGBT counterparts if you can’t share your whole self with the former.
And hey, it’s not always good, but being LGBT is also not really that bad. We’ll always have Sydney’s Mardi Gras, right?
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