How To Tell Someone Their Boyfriend Is Cheating When They Have NO Clue

Okay so you’ve just found out your friend’s boyfriend is cheating on them and you don’t know what to do. Is it best to keep quiet? Or do you tell them? The latter is always the better option- think how devastated they would be if they eventually find out their partner has been cheating on them and that you knew all along. Having said that, there is still a lot to consider before you share what you know and there is a way to tell them that is as sensitive as possible. To help you achieve this, below is a list of tips how to tell someone their boyfriend is cheating when they have no clue.

1. Gather the facts first.

I am not making excuses for anyone that cheats but in some instances harmless behaviour can be blown wildly out of proportion, labelled as cheating and cause a lot of unnecessary heartache. This is why it is so important to ensure that you are certain your friend’s boyfriend is cheating on them before you tell them. Find concrete evidence such as texts, pictures of the boyfriend out with other girls (or boys), or talk to other people who can back up your story. Then take this evidence to the person being cheated on. Without evidence, your friend might try and defend their partner out of denial and might turn against you and turn their back on your friendship.

2. Confront their boyfriend.

Before speaking to your friend, it might be an option to confront their cheating boyfriend first. He is clearly too much of a coward to tell your friend himself, but this doesn’t mean you can’t force him to tell her and to do the right thing. This way, instead of your friend taking it out on you, they can take it out on their boyfriend (hopefully soon to be ex) who must face up and take responsibility for his actions. One of the more implicit ways how to tell someone their boyfriend is cheating without getting any backlash.

3. Don’t make a scene.

It is also best to keep the situation contained if you find out your friend’s boyfriend has been unfaithful to them. Speak to your friend one on one or if you choose to confront their boyfriend, speak to her when he is present to make sure he goes through with confessing. But do not tell any of your mutual friends. This way you will minimise your friend’s pain and humiliation; it is your job to let them know, but it is up to them to dictate how they want to control the situation once they know.

4. Choose the right time and place.

The setting is definitely an important factor when figuring how to tell someone their boyfriend is cheating. There is no knowing how your friend will react to the news that they are being cheated on – especially if they are totally oblivious to it. Choose a time when you and your friend are alone and in a place where you know you won’t be disturbed. Pick somewhere private like their house or yours. Also wait until you have calmed down after finding out your friend’s boyfriend has been cheating, if you are angry you will only make the experience more distressing. Be calm and collected and go prepared- take tissues and anything else you think your friend might need.

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5. Tell them in a compassionate way.

Of course it is best to get straight to the point and tell your friend the truth, however there is a certain way to do this. Speak with compassion and use a soft, caring tone. Start by showing how uncomfortable you feel and that this is not the kind of news you want to tell your friend- this is especially important if you never got on with your friend’s boyfriend in the first place because you don’t want your friend to think you are meddling.

6. Prioritise your friendship.

Your friend might lash out at you because you were the person who told them the very news that they didn’t want to hear. But try not to take it personally and try not to respond to this anger. Be calm and patient and listen to everything they have to say. Reassure them that you will stick by their side no matter what and that you will always be there to support them. Remind them how important your friendship is and how much you value and love them. At the same time, don’t smother them, respect your friend’s decision if they need some space or to talk to someone else other than you about it.

These are just a few tips for how to tell someone their boyfriend is cheating on them when they have no clue. Can you think of any other tips? If so, answer in the comment section below.

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