Dating at university can be a challenge. Like many people, I met my boyfriend whilst we were both students and as a result I learned a lot about what not to do when dating at university. Here is my advice for a happy relationship when you’re juggling studying and dating.
It is tempting. You get to wake up next to them every morning and cosy up on the sofa together every night – but very quickly you will see the problems appearing. You start arguing over who left the cooker on. You wanted to watch Love Island but they are hogging the TV so they can watch sports. Soon you start to wonder if you jumped into this relationship too quickly and you miss the fun nights in with your friends. You have the rest of your life to live with your partner. Enjoy the time you have with your friends now. Also, it is much easier to move out when you aren’t dating your flatmate.
This is a recipe for disaster. Group work is the worst part of university, and if you think it will be easier working with your significant other then you are wrong. For a start, it is way too easy to get distracted when you are with them. Why work on the project when you could be having sex? On top of that, you are going to end up disagreeing on how to best complete the project and it will escalate into a fight about that time they watched your favourite TV programme without you. Keep classwork and relationships separate.
University can be a lonely place sometimes and it helps to make as many friends as possible – so befriend your partner’s buddies! It gives you a wider pool of people to talk to and to draw on for help when you need it. It also makes it far more comfortable when you tag along to an event with their pals. If they like you enough, they might be the ones inviting you in the future!
Just don’t do this. People are trying to eat. It’s off-putting. The food is probably not that good anyway and watching two people play tonsil tennis whilst you eat does not make it any more appetising.
If the person you’re dating is not on the same course as you, it can come in very handy. Say you’re studying film and you’ve been tasked with making a music video. Who better to ask for help than your partner who studies commercial music? You might find that your assignments require knowledge of other disciplines. If your partner has that knowledge then use it!
There are going to be times when your SO will text you and ask if you want to come over for Netflix and chill and you are going to kick yourself because you know that assignment is due by tomorrow and you won’t have time to finish it. Just say no. There will be plenty of other nights for you to hang out. It is not worth failing your degree over. If they don’t like that, dump them. Someone who does not support your education is not someone you want in your life.
That said, you do need to make time for them. Student life is hectic and it can drain a lot of your free time – but if you don’t put some of that time aside for your partner, they will leave. Find a night when you know you do not have any studying or urgent assignments to work on and use that time to do something fun with your partner. It will help you de-stress and give you a break before you go back to your projects again.
Trust me on this one. Lecturers generally could not care less about your personal life, but some of them live for student drama. When they find out two of their students are an item they will use it to torture you. Playful jibes, asking you to take your marital squabbles out of the classroom, deliberately pairing you up on group tasks to cause chaos… This becomes particularly embarrassing if you break up and have to awkwardly explain to your professor that you are not dating anymore. Keep your lecturers out of your personal life in general – it’s easier that way.
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