Bath Spa University has always been creative, diverse and accepting. It’s a place where Hashtags like #Bathspawegohard #Mybathspastory and (my personal favourite) #Spad are used by everyone. It’s also a place where you spend most of your time trying to figure out if they are using the hashtags as a joke or if they are being serious.
Here are eight types of people you will meet at Bath Spa University.
This girl made a five-year plan when she was 18 and has been trying to stick to it ever since. She is ambitious, driven and determined. Most of her friends genuinely believe she will be their claim to fame in the near future by becoming the youngest SEO of all time. She spends most of her time either working on several extra-curricular activities, ugly crying about how stressed she is and worrying about how to make the term ‘powerful woman’ into a legit career title.
This girl is usually whining or giving us random facts about her boyfriend from her home town.
You meet this girl once a week in a lecture and you’ve spent more time learning about her boyfriend than Franz Kafka. During your time at Bath Spa and all your time knowing her, you’ve probably never specifically asked about her boyfriend. Yet, you still know that he is studying aerospace engineering and has an irrational fear of carrots.
Despite your lack of interest, she just voluntarily keeps on giving out all this unavailing information and acts like everyone has unlimited brain space to store it.
This girl has her life together. But she (and only she) thinks she’s a mess because she doesn’t have a boyfriend.
This girl is so put together that everyone in her friendship group starts essays when she does because it makes us all feel like we have our life together. She gets the best grades and manages to bag the best second-year placement. But at the same time, she makes nights out often feel like an undercover pulling mission because her lack of boyfriend makes her feel like there is a void in her life that only a relationship can fulfil.
This girl is beautiful, intelligent and probably an annoying overachiever in every aspect in her life and all of her friends adore her, but she’s been programmed to only and exclusively believe and relish in male validation.
You know what they say about prison, if you don’t come out ripped did you even go?
Well, it’s the same about Bath Spa, if you don’t come out wanting to be a teacher, did you even go?
However, if you’re not an aspiring teacher, Bath Spa may really ruin your worldview of teachers. This is because everyone assumes that teachers were born with briefcases and a strong sense of sensibility. But then I saw an aspiring teacher wash her clothes with a dishwasher tablet after a night out and to be honest, I think we put too much trust in people that want to mould the vision of young minds.
Even the caretaker fist bumps him as he walks past?!
University is a great place to learn that carrying an intimidating and spiteful demeanour through the corridors does not equate to popularity. At university, the popular kids are kind, likeable and friendly.
This boy may as well be a wizard because he has managed to get to know everyone on his course whilst never actually running for course rep or student president. The only time you’ve seen him get involved with the university is when he went to the Pride March last year (even though it was interrupted by a pretty hefty thunderstorm) and posted it on Instagram with the #mybathspastory.
Stoner logic: denying the fact that your eyes are red, will make them less red.
You know for a fact that he’s on your course, but you’ve never seen him attend a single lecture. You make friends anyway because you bump into each other on most nights out.
He probably made a really bad first impression when you were freshers by referring to bread as uncooked toast because he thought it would impress you.
Yet, by final year this guy will probably start attending lectures and manage to carry all of his possessions in a fluorescent green Asda bag for life that you often spot before him.
Being friends with this guy might make you feel like a babysitter/ personified diary. This is because you feel the need to check up on him at least once a week just to make sure that he’s okay/safe/alive and he’s texting you to ask what he was doing last Tuesday because he’s too stoned to remember.
You’re sat there making an app that revolves around fashion and the boy next to you is finding a way to modify genetic algorithms in order to input and output information.
This is a true story: the boy showed me his projects and for the first two minutes I thought the algorithms were virtual fireworks and we were waiting for the page to load. Once he explained the entire thing to me, I had to take a moment and be like wow, we’re not even close to being on the same page.
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