Almost everyone has those ex-besties that they were once inseparable from, but sometimes it’s not just that you drift apart but it may also be that there’s some drama that goes down. Each time something happens you learn a little bit more about life and yourself, so here are 12 lessons from a toxic friendships.
There is nothing wrong with compromising if someone’s upset. And if people are communicating with you that they’re lacking something that’s really healthy. But a compromise doesn’t mean that you have to put yourself out just to make the other person happy: it means learning to accept each other and meet in the middle, not fighting over what you’ve done for each other.
If you have to tone down your passions or loves because you’re ‘annoying’ then that’s not great. We all have our quirks, but true friends accept us with them (even if they find it annoying). And if you’re good at something you shouldn’t have to make yourself appear less good just for them.
I have lots of personal experience of this, and I’ve realised now that that was what I was. I was very emotionally immature and innocent when I moved city, and I became the ‘plaything’ of a few people. It was a mission to get me to flirt and get drunk, and now I see that actually when I grew up a bit and started spreading my wings, that was when people started getting angry at me.
Don’t get me wrong, a little bit of friendly pressure can teach you lots, however there is a difference between introducing you horror movies and doing things that you’re not always comfortable with. Don’t feel like you have to do things just because other people do, whether it be drugs (pretty extreme I know) or just wearing things you’re not comfortable in.
My mum can weed out bad friends long before anyone else in my life. She doesn’t stop me from being friends with them or living my own life, but she does caution me when she gets weird vibes from someone. I denied it for so long, but the more I live the more I really do see that my mum does know best.
If you don’t want to do something, cool. If you don’t want to get drunk, cool. I’ve been shouted at before for having a headache and not going clubbing. I’ve been called a fake friend and a bitch and so I really have got to the stage now where I don’t care what people call me.
If you achieve a success that your friend doesn’t they shouldn’t get angry at you or act salty because you got there first. They should celebrate with you. As one of my favourite quotes says: “a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.”
If you don’t wanna hang out with someone all the time that is fine. Tell people. And this goes both ways: it’s more hurtful to be lied to about why they don’t want to hang out with you than to just be told that you want alone time.
This was a lesson taught to me by my high school English teacher, who always used to tell us girls in her class that “no matter what, you must always have your independence.” If you rely on someone, whether it’s a platonic friendship or romantic relationship you should always try to keep your freedom, and don’t let yourself lose all sense of a ‘way out’.
It’s fine. It hurts to be on the receiving end and it hurts to do it but in the end it will feel far more worth it when you’re not facing the stress you had before. Be true to yourself, really.
You BFF just left your side and you feel empty without them. But you will survive. Friend breakups can be worse than relationship breakups, so give yourself time to heal and remember the good times before moving on.
It takes two to tango, and a toxic friendship isn’t just about what they do but also what you do. When you feel ready, evaluate how you acted and whether you can improve for the future.
So you're moving to college and you don't even know where to start with the packing, I mean, you may…
When people talk about sun protection, they often forget about hair. But it's just as important to apply sunscreen on…
Superfoods are nutrient-rich foods that are particularly beneficial for our health and wellbeing and we should all be making a…
Forget everything you thought you knew about London. All the images of grey skies and gloomy streets, long coats and…
We are all guilty of it. The moment when we see a father bonding with his kids, we can't help…
Are you bored with doing the same old party makeup? Do you want to have fun with your look and…
