Now Reading
Why I Stayed At My College After I Was Raped

Why I Stayed At My College After I Was Raped

When I first stepped onto my college campus I knew it was the place for me. I knew that living here would change my life, and I was so right. In the fall of my freshman year, I was raped by a fellow student. I became the statistic that every college student hears: “1 in 5 women will be raped within their first semester of college.”

I was 18, I was still a baby in the eyes of most people. I had just learned my way around campus, I was just getting used to classes. I hadn’t had a whole lot of time to make a strong group of friends (not that I was telling many people anyway). My world completely crumbled.

slothinthefastlane.

I avoided certain areas of campus where I knew my perpetrator would be.

I refused to eat in dining halls, in fact I refused to eat at all. I wouldn’t talk about my assault because the words “I was raped” tasted like dirt coming out of my mouth. I started taking obscure routes to class so I wouldn’t see my perp, and sometimes I wouldn’t go to class at all. My grades dropped. I stopped caring and all of a sudden the bubbly, outgoing girl who walked onto campus that first day vanished.

Advertisement
favim.com

The thought of dropping out was always on my mind.

Why stay on a campus that is in itself a memory of the night that ruined my entire life? So, why did I stay? I stayed because I am bigger than my assault. I am more powerful than my perp. If I had left campus that would have given more power to my rapist. There is no bigger f*** you then to be okay. I had to take my power and my voice back, so I pushed through my freshman year.

See Also

favim.com

It wasn’t easy or pretty but I made it.

I sought out professional help for what I was feeling that is now diagnosed as PTSD and depression. I found counseling to help me cope. Things started to get easier, but my rape doesn’t just go away. There are days when I feel on top of the world and there are days when everything hits me like a brick wall. Had I not stayed on campus though, I’m not sure I would be as strong as I am now. I made friends who helped push me to get out of bed and go to class. I learned that it was okay to be scared and what I was feeling was real. I mean, heck, I still love my school. I just had to learn to love this place a little differently. I’m still getting an education.

Advertisement
favim.com

Now, I’m excelling.

I stayed on my campus after I was raped, but I am only one story. For some people leaving is the right option. But my place was here. I was compelled to stay. Maybe this is just me getting my voice back but maybe, just maybe there’s another reason. A reason I was called to stay. Maybe I’m supposed to help someone else, maybe I’m supposed to be a voice. Whatever the reason, I’m happy with my decision and can’t wait to finish my journey on my college campus.

favim.com
Do you have any words of encouragement for our writer or know of anyone who would appreciate this article? Comment below and share this article with friends to spread the strength.
Featured image source: , wallpaperhd.pk