For some reason, people are constantly shitting on small talk every chance they get. Whether it be on twitter, instagram, tumblr or even facebook, people of all ages and demographics are talking about how much they hate small talk, gaining tens of thousands of retweets and likes in the process.
But I’m here to tell you that these people are wrong. Small talk is more than just “what’s up”, and sometimes it’s worth appreciating the little things like casual conversation. So here are some reasons why small talk isn’t as bad as people make it out to be.
Everything needs a start
It’s easy to disregard small talk as unnecessary conversations, but one thing to remember is that strong and lasting relationships wouldn’t be where they are right now without the help of casual conversation. Small talk gives people the opportunity to connect with strangers they otherwise wouldn’t have talked to, creating friendships and relationships nobody would’ve thought possible. Talks about wheather and how your day has been are great segways to deeper more meaningful topics without coming off too strong or upfront, despite not looking the part. Small talk, whether or not you want to admit it, is essential when trying to build and strengthen any and all types of relationships.
You learn more about a person, even if it doesn’t seem like it.
Small facts like a person’s favourite colour, their passions, their favourite movie, their hobbies etcetera, are things you can only learn from having small talk. And while these things might seem inconsequential and useless at first glance, more often than not, it’s the small trivial facts that tell you the most about a person- somethings even deep and philosophical talks won’t reveal. Their favourite movie or artist? Says a lot about their tastes and what they like. They’re favourite colour? It can represent their personality in ways you wouldn’t have originally thought of. Sometimes, it isn’t always about whats on the surface. Small talk makes you appreciate all the little things, and the meaning they bring despite not seeming to be of much importance at first.
It can tell a person you care
I’m not just talking about the casual “how’re you doing?” and “are you okay?”‘s either. Asking a person about the things people don’t usually care about- their carreer, how their day has been etcetera- shows that you care about them enough to even bother striking up conversations. Going through the trouble of hearing someone rant about their mundane tasks, shows a willingness to listen in the first place- showing just how much you care about them and what they do with their day.
It can make you feel happy
I know, I know- this sounds weird, but hear me out. Research has shown that casual conversations made with smiling faces and soothing gestures can provide your body with positive energy, hence making you feel much happier than before. Not only that, but small talk provides a chance to strengthen and build relationships with people you care about. Talking to them, albeit your conversation being inconsequential and small, can serve to brighten up your mood for the rest of your day.
So next time you see a tweet or post talking about how small talk is useless and unnecessary, think about all the benefits small talk can bring you before you hit the like button. Small talk might seem useless now, but when you stop having it you’re going to want it back ASAP.