So, you might be thinking of living with your best friend but are scared to take the leap, I get it. I lived with my best friend, and I am here to share that experience; how I made it work and why I recommend it. It doesn’t have to be as scary as it seems sometimes.
1. Have a trial run if you can
When it came to roommates, my first year of undergrad was a challenge, but that is a story for another time. Like many people, I was told the horror stories of living with your best friend. That is precisely why we didn’t live together that first year.
However, because my living situation was so bad, I stayed in my friend’s room often. As the year went on, I started staying in her room full time, so I guess you can say we had a trial run, and that is really important to note. We were cramped in her small room and had to learn how to navigate around each other. It was a really quick way to see the type of roommates we would be. Who was cleaner? Were we respectful of each other’s things? Passive-aggressiveness?
That might not be realistic for everyone, or you both might want to live with each other right away. If you can though, spend part of your summer together. Put yourselves in situations that will force you both to work together and have those tough conversations, which leads me to my next point.
If you take nothing else from this post, make sure this is the one piece of advice that you keep. Whether it be roommates or romantic partners, communication is dire for success. In our case, the first conversation we had to have about living together was hair in the bathroom. I shed like a dog, there is no delicate way to put it, but I always had hair in the shower.
My friend was really nervous to tell me about it at first, but when she did, we quickly got past it. Yeah, it was uncomfortable, and truly, to this day, it still can be, but the more you talk, the easier it will become. And since you will be living with your best friend, as hard as it can be, it can make those conversations easier than having them with a stranger.
3. Know that your friendship is solid
If the idea of open conversation makes you want to vomit in the corner, this might be the time for you to reconsider your decision. The biggest fear of living with your best friend is that when things get rough, the rift will be so great, that the friendship is ruined. That is why being able to tell your roommate your concerns and needs is crucial. Luckily for me, since I did live with my best friend, we both had a great understanding of those things anyway.
Having a relationship that was well established (we had been friends for six years at that point) made it more easy to take the leap to be open. When you have been friends with someone you are more likely to know how to approach them and know the things that will bother them.
4. Be on the same page
This is connected to communication but involves some more self-analysis. I learned very quickly from my first year that when you and your roommates do not have the same values, living together can be quite challenging. I know I’m making dorming sound like a marriage, but when you are putting yourself in a space with someone for four or more years, there is a commitment that shouldn’t be taken lightly. This is coming from someone who mistakenly did…
My best friend and I were so close because we did have similar values. Our education was a priority and we both had the same thoughts about having respectful guests. Going into it, that was extremely comforting. I felt like I didn’t have to worry. I didn’t have to lock my things away or check my food to see if someone I didn’t know ate some of it (yeah, that was a real concern at one point).