As a bright-eyed freshman, I would attempt to befriend every single roommate I had. No matter their appearance or economic class, I’d always attempt to strike up a conversation or dedicate time to them. But as my college career progressed, I started to question myself, “Why the hell do I need to befriend these people again?” No, I didn’t turn into a complete dick or anything but I slowly stopped trying to become best friends with all of my roommates. Here are a few reasons why I chose the more antisocial route.
While I’m never the type to completely shut out people that have different lifestyles, some of my roommates were complete opposites to me. Meaning that they were heavily into smoking weed and drinking which was something that I wasn’t exactly a fan of. Regardless, I’d still attempt to strike up conversations with my college roommates and hang out with them. While my experiences with these types of college roommates weren’t completely disastrous, I’d still question myself, “What the hell are you doing?” I felt like I was attempting to fit in with people that I really had no business hanging around. And this isn’t coming from an “Oh, I’m better than you because I don’t do drugs or drink mindset”, but more of a “Man, I’d rather being gaming right now than doing this mindset.”
If I had a dollar for every time…. Trying to force friendships with your college roommates is guaranteed to lead to countless awkward exchanges depending on the pairing. And no, it’s not because I’m horrible with people, it’s more so that not everyone you’re matched with is going to mix with your personality. So this would lead to me putting way more effort into relationships that weren’t meant to go further than the occasional, “Hey” or “What’s up bruh”. Of course more often than not, I’d build a rapport with some of my college roommates but eventually, I’d just let the relationship run its course.
Sometimes, you just wanna be alone! It’s nothing against your friends or loved ones, but after a hectic day of class, you just wanna come back to your dorm and shut off the world. Towards the end of my college career, this became more commonplace with me. I’d rush straight to my dorm room and wouldn’t exactly feel compelled to make small talk with my roommates. Nothing was wrong with me besides the usual college stress from class, relationships, and general worry about surviving. The days of me feeling a need to interact with someone every second were long over and I’d just hang out with my established friends.
Okay, I know that I may seem strange to others, but trust me, I’ve had been roommates with some…strange individuals. They weren’t strange in a dangerous way, but certain mannerisms and their viewpoints turned me off from wanting to get to know them. I’d treat them with the same respect they’d give me and won’t be confrontational but I just had less and less energy to attempt to figure out their quirks. Call me close-minded, but I guess my later college years made somewhat more jaded when it came to my roommates. I never wanted to put myself in a position where I felt like I was putting myself out there just to seem more appealing to a stranger. Then again, maybe I was just overthinking this but thankfully I never exactly had roommates that were hell sent. Some had horrible body odor and would engage in certain “activities” while I was still in the room but I’d never say that I was mentally scarred from them. Well…maybe that last thing I mentioned but I seem to be doing alright now…I think….