It. Is. Not. Your. Fault. He. Cheated. After being cheated on the first thing that I found myself doing was giving him excuses for his behavior. “Maybe I was too clingy?”, “Maybe I wasn’t around enough?”, “Should I have done this or that?” That was followed quickly by, “Is she prettier?”, “Skinnier?”, “Smarter?” Lots of questions came through at a mile a minute until one of my best friends stopped me and said, “If you are happy with the first person, you would never have even noticed the second person.” That quote stopped me dead in my tracks. Keep reading for some of the realizations I had and why his cheating is not your fault and never was.
His actions could not have been stopped or started by anything that you have done or not done.
He was going to make those decisions based on how his feelings were affecting him and sadly that is not something you can control. His cheating is out of your hands.
Being cheated on was honestly one of the most world-shattering things that could have happened to me.
I was head over heels in love with a boy who didn’t love me. I would have done anything he had asked me to, which is unhealthy in itself.
I’ve realized maybe being the cheater is one of the most world-altering things possible.
Cheating is never the answer. Being a cheater means you will always be a cheater. Whether you will continue to physically cheat on the people who love you throughout your life, or if you will mentally cheat on them neither is worse than the next. As a cheater you will never be able to be happy, you will never be content, you will always be looking for the next best thing.
So, to the sweet, beautiful, amazing girl that is reading this: Please hear me out when I tell you that it is not your fault, nor will it ever be your fault that he was not able to love you the way you deserve to be loved.
I’m sorry that he wasn’t capable of holding your heart the way you were willing to sacrifice and hold his. But, one day you’re going to run into someone. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe six years from now. And that man is going to be able to make you understand why you have gone through every little bit of pain you have and he is going to make you realize that you never needed someone to complete you because you are whole by yourself. All you needed was someone to love you as you are, and he’s going to do just that.