Some people crave commitment, others run away from it. Commitment is a big thing for some people, and there’s many reasons why people are scared of it; some which are common and some that are more personal. But there’s also ways to overcome those fears. Even after all the hurt and heartache, could it just be in our heads?
1. You’ve Been Previously Hurt
The obvious one, and no doubt the most common. I understand people get hurt, but doesn’t everyone at some point in their lives? Hurting in any way is a hard, horrible feeling and is a difficult one to shake off. You can be hurt in so many different ways. But, eventually all the hurt you’ve felt fades with time. You can’t let the fear of getting hurt stop you going for something you want. Let’s look at it this way, if you could be the happiest you’ve ever been, or you’ve finally got the chance to have everything you’ve ever wanted – then isn’t the risk worth it? Some of you may think it’s not as simple as that, but one day when all the fear has gone, and you’ve missed your chance, you’ll realise that it was.
2. What Consumes Your Mind, Consumes Your Life
It’s hard to control what you think about, but letting past experiences into your mind will only effect you in the future. I know it’s not easy, I’m not saying it is, but whenever you feel yourself overthinking – stop. Whenever you think about your past experience at all – stop. Whatever you let consume your mind, inevitably consumes your life.
3. Why Did It Happen?
Let’s get to the root of the problem. What is the reason you’re scared of commitment? What or who hurt you? Why did you get hurt? Did you hurt them? Knowing and understanding why you got hurt will help you accept what has happened, and will also help you move on. Sometimes, people can’t commit because they’re still holding onto that one thing that hurt them. Whether it was completely out of your hands or maybe it is guilt, knowing how to move forward and preventing it from happening again will help you commit.
4. People Choose A Good Time Over A good Thing
Some people want it easy, to put it simply; they want a good time over a good thing. And while that’s all well and good, they fail to realise you can have both. You can have the time of your life, you can make memories that will last a life time and you can have fun doing whatever it is you want to do. But you can still do this while committing to something or someone. There is nothing to say you can’t have it all, well…why wouldn’t you want it all?
5. Prolonging Independence
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, you can still have your independence no matter what your situation. You can still be you, whilst having someone by your side. All you singletons out there, whether this is the reason you’re scared to commit, or quite the opposite. You can have both. You can have your independence, and still have someone there to support you and have by your side. Having a healthy balance is what a relationship is all about.
Some people may have always had trust issues, or maybe one thing has happened which has caused them to get trust issues. Either way, this can be a huge obstacle when it comes to committing to something again. Am I going to get hurt again? Can I trust this person? What if they betray my trust? Truth of the matter is; you’ll never know unless you try. Although trust doesn’t happen over night, you can’t let that stop you from doing something that is going to make you happy. It might be the best thing that has ever happened to you or the worst – who knows? It’s a lot easier said than done, but go slow and take baby steps.