Today’s technology has changed almost all aspects of our lives, including dating. Back in our parents and grandparents generation, they either had to call or talk to someone face-to-face when their was a problem. However, nowadays with texting and all of that, it makes it pretty easy to ghost someone. Ghosting someone, if you didn’t know, means that you cut of all communication with them without giving them a reason or explanation as to why you didn’t want to interact with them anymore. It’s not the nicest thing to do, but I’m sure we’re all either guilty of it or have had it happen to us at least once. Some of you may disagree, but I feel that there are times when it’s okay to ghost someone and times when there’s not. For example, it’s okay to ghost someone when:
1. You’re Talking Through A Dating Site/App
If you’ve ever been on dating apps like Tinder or Bumble, then you know that there’s plenty of creeps and weirdos on them. Maybe you’ve only been talking to someone on the app and are starting to realize they’re a little creepy or maybe even it took you going out with them once to realize it – either way, you still don’t really know them and you’d rather not continue talking to a creep, so you simply stop talking to them. I personally don’t see anything wrong with ghosting in this case. This is one of the times it’s okay to ghost someone.
2. You’re Just Not That Into Them
You’re not always going to be interested in every person you go on a date with or talk to. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just the way it is. I know in my own personal experience, I’ve talked to and gone out with a guy once and quickly got bored (I asked him out and our weekly conversation was the same small talk, hi how are you, type of conversation) so I just stopped texting him. He’s not a longtime friend that I haven’t seen in a while where an occasional “Hi. How are you?” conversation is acceptable. He simply wasn’t interesting or assertive enough for me, so I stopped trying.
3. They Are Playing Games
If you’re talking to someone and maybe even have gone out with them once or twice and you start to see that they are playing games with you, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with ghosting that person. Why should you subject yourself to someone’s insensitive games? This is when it’s okay to ghost someone. Now, for all the instances where it is okay to ghost someone, there are plenty of instances where it is not okay. Here are a few examples:
1. You’ve Gone Out Three Times Or More
If you’ve gone out with someone at least three times, whether you realized it or not, that sends a message to the other person that you’re interested in them. If you’ve been out with someone multiple times and all of a sudden just cut off all communication, the other person is going to be very confused and probably upset and angry. In situations like this, it’s best to tell the other person that after hanging out a few times and talking regularly that you’re just not interested before cutting off all communication.
2. You Had At Least One Really Good Date
If you’ve gone out with someone on even just one really good date, you shouldn’t ghost the other person for whatever reason you have for suddenly not wanting to see or talk to them again. If you don’t want to see or talk to someone again for whatever reason after a good date, that’s okay, just let them know. Say something along the lines of “I had a really good time with you, but (insert your explanation here)”.
3. You Lead Them On
This is probably an obvious one, but even if you’ve never gone out with someone and have only texted them, if you’ve been leading them to believe there’s more of a chance of a relationship than there really was, you need to give them an explanation. Even if you weren’t intentionally leading them on and you just have a very friendly personality that, in certain situations, can be taken as flirting you need to tell them that. A simple “I’m sorry if I made you feel like there was more to it than there really is, but the truth is (insert explanation here)” would suffice. The other person may still be upset, but at least they got an explanation and weren’t just left high and dry when they thought everything was going well.