You may feel pressured to find “the one” while in college, or think that it’s going to be like a movie, don’t. Disclaimer: The film How To Be Single is wildly inaccurate and I don’t support it. However, if you are single and happy to be around the Boston area, we have some ideas for you to help you either get back to the dating lifestyle or just spend some “you” time! So keep reading for tips as to what to do if you’re single in Boston!
Step 1: Before you do ANYTHING, acknowledge that there is nothing to worry about.
You’re single! Finished! You did it! Being single is like being naked. You were born that way and there’s not much of a process to it.
You may be seeing tons of people, or waiting to meet the right person. You do you, but if you’re reading this for actual advice other than just being bored in class, let’s get on the same page here – being single is nothing to worry about. It means whatever you want it to mean. The only step you need to know is: be honest with everybody. Boom. Done.
Friendly reminder – everyone is worthy of love, respect, and truth, especially yourself.
Step 2: Realize whether you want to get out and meet new people ASAP or just spend time focusing on yourself.
Be honest with yourself, it’s OK either way. Once you decide choose from the following options below:
Step 3: Focusing on yourself:
Being single is great for reflecting, because you have way better insight about your relationships once you’re out of them, which is both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes we realize that we lost a bit of ourselves when we let our partner’s bullshit slide.
You can think about what you’re looking for, if anything. If you’re sick of feeling used by fuck boys, maybe consider commitment. Or maybe you just want someone more mature than your last girlfriend. Or a sugar daddy. (Someone’s gotta pay tuition. I’m looking at you, Aoun.)
Focusing on yourself means doing whatever it is that makes you happy. Try some of these ideas for what to do if you’re single in Boston and want to focus on yourself.
The Sauna at your gym.
The Boston Public Garden.
Get lost in a book at the library.
Step 4: Going out and meeting new people:
Spend some time at some of the best bars/places in Boston to meet new people.
A Red Sox game at Fenway.
A Bruins game at the Garden.
Study at a local coffee shop where you aren’t required to remain quiet. (Recommend Pavement.)
Line dancing on Sunday nights at Loretta’s Last Call.
Trident book store on a weekday night for a fun activity.
Stroll through Newbury Street.
Fun bars to go to include, but are not limited to:
Step 5: Know how to respond to anyone asking you about you being single.
There’s still a lot of bullshit surrounding the idea of being single, so let’s get that out of here.
Here’s what people usually say when you’re single, and how to actually handle it. Also, don’t go to Cosmo for this kind of advice unless you’re doing it ironically, trust me.
“Take time to focus on yourself!”
This implies that you can’t focus on yourself when you’re in a relationship, further implying that your Significant Other always takes ultimate priority. Calling bullshit because you should always come first. Pun intended.
Please do focus on your beautiful and amazing self, but know that you can’t schedule when you’re single and when you’re not. There will not be a minute where you’re like “AH, finally ready for a relationship this very second!” And even if there is, there won’t be that friend-zoned hottie from the movie waiting at your doorstep ready to ride off into the sunset.
While doing that, also focus on friendships. Give the squad some love and hang out more. Who says you can’t go on a date to the North End with your friends?
“Well, what kind of relationship are you looking for?”
Contradicting #1 here slightly, because while it’s great to discover what you think you want, it is also good to keep an open mind. When you met your best friend, did either of you ask if you were emotionally ready for this commitment? Did you decide then and there that you were going to be Official Best Friends? If you forget kindergarten, your answer is likely No. Which is why I call bullshit. If we don’t put such strict boundaries on that kind of love, why should we for any other type of connection?
People are searching for different things, and that’s all fine and dandy. But if you’re just tryna hang and this bruh wants a Relationship, does mean you have to stop spending time together? Or does it just mean that Love Works In Mysterious Ways so Maybe See What Happens!! You gotta start somewhere! We don’t have control over our feelings. And just when we think we do, they change anyway. It’s all trial and error.
“They’re not your type.”
Do people even have types? Or is that just an old breakup excuse? Calling bullshit because people don’t fall into neatly bordered boxes, so let’s not make a checklist to determine who’s worth our time and who’s not.
Remember, having a type is different than having standards. Just because he’s a hot doctor doesn’t automatically mean he should be let into your vagina (unless its your OBGYN). On the contrary, no one is out of your league. You can get anybody you want, just put your mind to it. And your dick, if they want you to.
“Go fuck around!”
Lucky you, because meaningless sex is the easiest to find on a college campus! Just make sure you’re sure that’s what you’re looking for. I call bullshit on this sometimes because we often kid ourselves.
En route to a party, I once said to my roommate “I just want to get laid tonight” and while I did indeed get laid (hi-five to self here) I turned out liking someone and ended up with more of that relationship than I had expected or asked for. Who knew! I certainly should have! Even if you’re looking for a relationship, it doesn’t mean you have to swear off one-night-stands. That one person at the club may not be compatible enough to be your Significant Other, but who said they have to be?
Everybody wants to love and be loved (unless you’re Dexter or Gone Girl) so just go with your gut! Or your genitals & your gut! But don’t forget the gut! Be honest, and careful. If you feel slightly uncomfortable with someone, maybe don’t put your dick inside them. Who knows what’s up there. Be safe, don’t get STD’s, Zika, or pregnant.
Labels aren’t really all that bad.
Calling bullshit because I think it’s great to be Single, Fuck Buddies, Talking, Hanging Out, Hanging Out And Talking, A Thing, Seeing Each Other, Dating, In A Relationship and none of the above. There’s a certain level of exclusivity and respect implied with labels, as they create a mutual understanding. What isn’t great is when you Have No Fucking Clue What’s Going On! That’s when people get confused and sometimes hurt!
The worst thing you can do is lead someone on. (Well, after being a liar, toxic, destructive, abusive, misogynistic, disrespectful, etc of course.) And ff you still don’t like labels, just make sure you and your partner are on the same page.
If you’re only sleeping with someone and that’s all you want, make sure they know it. And don’t treat them like it’s more. If you seem interested in them as a person, they’ll think you care.
Keep in mind, if you really have to hold certain feelings back, then maybe you have a real connection with this person and might want to consider building a slightly deeper relationship! Do it, try it!
Having the “What Are We” conversation is only awkward if you guys disagree with each other. And if you don’t talk about it, you won’t even know that you disagree, which is worse. Maybe this whole time she’s just tryna fuck and you’ve been pretending to be more interested because you think she wanted more. You’ll never know until you talk!
Don’t be this person…
If you’re going to have that conversation about your Relationship Status with someone, make sure you know what you’re talking about and that you know what words mean.
This happened in real life! To me!
Me and Bruh: *drunkenly making out at high school party*
Bruh: *stops. makes dramatic pause, and looks away….* I don’t wanna be that guy
Me: lol what
Bruh: This…this is just platonic, right?
Me: I don’t think you know what platonic means-
Bruh: -well we’re only hooking up, I don’t want you to expect anything more than-
Me: Don’t worry, I don’t want you to be my boyfriend. But literally the definition of platonic is friends who do not kiss and you just kissed me so like learn some words!!
Don’t listen to the pre-conceived notion or the idea that when you’re single you should be hooking up with randos.
Bullshit because you don’t have to! You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do! Ever! Be thirty, flirty and thriving! Or go be a nun! No one cares, no one is judging you but you.
Disclaimer: Written by a cisgendered female who you should think of as your best friend in the rom-com who enables every semi-bad decision and is ready with wine in hand to make sure you have a kick-ass time.
Can you guys help our readers out and comment below with any ideas as to what to do if you’re single in Boston?
Featured image source: wallpaperstone.blogspot.com, favim.com/image/2459263
Alexandra Smith is majoring in Psychology, with a minor in Creative Writing. In her free time, she enjoys running, hanging out with family friends, and roaming the world with her camera in hand.