Anytime you think about the word gossip the image of the movie Mean Girls probably comes to mind. People talk all the time about how gossip spreads like wildfire in high school. I have heard people tell me that college is filled with open minded and compassionate individuals. That is true, but no matter what age you are gossip never stops. There will always be people who feel better about putting others down. You are bound to have at least some friendships that lead to gossip. There will always be people out there who love to stir up drama. I know it can be really difficult when this happens so here are some tips on what you should do if your friends are gossiping about you behind your back.
1. Confront Them
I know this is easier said then done, but the best approach is to confront the people who are spreading rumors and gossip about you. You need to show a strong front that tells them you are not to be betrayed or belittled. However, do not stroll up with steam coming out of your ears. Calmly approach them about it. Ask them why they felt the need to spread your secrets. Maybe they felt hurt or upset about something you did? It does not make what they did alright but it would explain the situation. Try to make up with them if this is the case. However, be firm and let them know how their betrayal really hurt you, and that you will not tolerate such malicious actions again. Everyone deserves a second chance.
2. Shut It Down
When you hear someone saying something negative about you do not instantly start yelling and defend yourself. Just avoid the conversation. Say you would rather talk about something else. You may feel the desire to be malicious back towards the gossipers but do not allow yourself to stoop to their level. Be the better person and do not let their words affect you. It can be upsetting but do not dwell on it. Things will get better. Do not let others define you, and remember who you are. Who cares what other people think of you? Real friends will ignore the negative noise.
3. Keep your interactions short
If your confrontation with the gossipers does not stop them, then just spend less time with these people. Let them know that you will not continue to spend time with them if they keep spilling all your secrets and stirring up drama. Also, watch what you say around them. You do not want to give them further ammunition.
4. Do Not Trust Them
This part is simple. If these so called “friends” of yours cannot keep your secrets to themselves than do not trust them. Stop telling them important secrets. They cannot be trusted to keep it between themselves so they do not deserve to know any of your business.
5. Hang Out with Your Real Friends
These so called “friends” of yours that spread gossip about you behind your back are not really your friends. Spend time with the people that are your real friends. True friends will ignore the negative noise and stay by your side. Forget all the hurt and negativity of the gossipers and have some fun with the people that love you. You are not obligated to have fake and hurtful friends. You do not need that kind of drama and pain in your life so just cut ties with them if all else fails. There are real friends that respect you and care about you.
6. Talk About the Problem in front of Your Friends
If confronting these so called friends on your own fails then call for back up. Tell your real friends about the issue and have them come with you to confront the back stabbers. They can be there as just moral support to silently cheer you on or back you up if things get out of hand. Your real friends will stick by you and understand.