You two didn’t go somewhere nice to meet up: it’s the coffee place that never has a line. It’s right downtown, so if you end up not liking each other, you know you didn’t go too far out of your way for the other. Neither of you have that much time for yourselves. In fact, you’d rather not meet this person for coffee just ‘cus it takes up time. But when you met last weekend, at a mutual friend’s place, you thought they were witty and cute. Coffee can’t hurt… After all, they could be The One. Who knows if I don’t try? So you went out of your way, in true ‘Hopeless Romantic’ fashion, to ask them out for coffee.
Here you are, at a perforated metal table, trying to find out more about the other. Neither of you want to waste your time with someone that’s not for you, so both of your ears might as well be Dumbo-sized: What can they say that will make this easier for me to run away…?
My experiences as a hopeless romantic myself lead me to find out the very basic qualities for women that are deal breakers for me, if they don’t have them. Great sex is important to me, but not as important as someone that is appreciative of me. Getting messed-up together at a bar is fun, but supporting my goals and relating to my failures ranks higher on my checklist of characteristics for a woman I want to settle down with.
For the record, I’m a heterosexual male and can only relate to my experiences dating women. I do not wish to dissuade or exclude bi- or homosexuals from reading or possibly learning something.
A guy wants you to show and not just tell him that you’re happy with him by your side. We only need a sprinkle of appreciation, but it will feel like a shower of compliments when you go out of your way to recognize us.
An Appreciative Partner Shows They Appreciate Him
Nobody at Show and Tell is gonna believe that you have a pet snake if you don’t bring it to Show and Tell. An appreciative partner offers small gestures to show their man and woman that they’re lucky to have them.
I see this as a 100% deal-breaker. If you’ve been dating a guy and realize he’s the bee’s knees, show him you think that. As I said above, showing is more powerful than telling. A small gesture like a hug around his waist in the elevator says you appreciate him. Why must I remind him? I haven’t broken up with him yet. Good point. But as guys, one of our biggest flaws is our pride. Our pride even rises after we score a great gal or guy like you! That’s part of who we are. We’re competitive. And the mature ones are working on it, I assure you. Thus, a mature man will recognize the ways you go out of your way to show him that you like keeping him around.
My friends and I throw this word around a lot in our circle. It encapsulates many other characteristics, but the core trait is maturity.
A Mature Partner Values Me-Time
Southwest Airlines got it right with their slogan Wanna Get Away? Because we all friggen do wanna get away. Regardless of how many cute vows or anniversary cards deny this, too much of anything can become a bad thing. Your man or woman does not take a night out with the boys, or a night out with the girls because they need time away from you. They don’t tell you they’r gonna be off their phone for a couple hours while they watch Netflix ‘cus you’re boring. They do it because they have other people and activities that make them happy and make their life whole. A mature partner takes their own me-time, and respects it when their boo decides to do the same.
My Tip: If you’re not overly explicit with the fact that you’re taking time for yourself just for the sake of being alone, or hanging with friends, you can have your partner stewing over something they thought they did wrong.
A Mature Partner Understands They Have An Ex
You don’t want to be reminded that your special someone loved another before you. The reality is that they’re with you today because they see something more in you, than they saw in their ex. Coming to terms with this fact, and sometimes talking together about the details (when the time and places arises), is a sign of maturity for each partner.